I think I am doing harm to my relationship by confessing minor things. She is very understanding and lovely but I get a feeling that she is starting to get annoyed by it. I never want to mess it up, I love her more than anything but we recently got into an argument, it is scary.
Remember that confession itself is a compulsion. It's satisfies your OCD for short time, but in the end it always leads to a bad place. I know that it feels "right" to confess. It kind of feels like you are doing the right thing. However, when we have OCD, we need to learn to CHOOSE what feels wrong in order to do the actual right thing. OCD creates an alternate reality. We are so wrapped up and tangled within it that we can't see the forest through the trees. However, if you zoom out, and look at the big picture, you can see the real reality. In the real reality, it actually hurts your relationships when you confess. It is actually the WRONG thing to do. The OCD is actually tricking you into feeling like you have to confess. Now we are all on a journey. And we are all learning step-by-step, a little bit at a time. So we can't worry if we are not perfect! And we are going to fail and get back up a lot of times along the way. And if your girl truly loves you, she will keep working with you on that:):) Here's your homework: You need to practice not confessing. This is your ERP. This is your therapy. When the urge to confess comes up, you are going to "ride it out." You're going to go and do other things like watch a movie with her or go eat dinner. You are going to resist that compulsion of confessing. You won't be able to do this perfectly, so don't even try. But start PRACTICING. This will be very good for your relationship and for your edge over OCD . You can do this!!!
@Tea and Honey Thank you a million times for this. Now we need some time for eachother, to process our thoughts and I will definitely apply this. It feels like the world stopped, I would do anything for her, and today I figured out that one of those things will have to be to not confess. She really is my whole world.
@ocdbelowzero She is very lucky to have you. It is a beautiful thing in this world to have someone who loves you deeply, the way that you love her. That is a gift in her life.
@Tea and Honey Yes, keep applying the ERP principles. Keep applying the principal that you need to stop confessing. You won't be perfect, and that's OK! None of us are. It's all about progress and the journey.
@Tea and Honey I am in the same situation, and this response is so, so helpful. Thank you. Not confessing is the therapy!!!!
@Tea and Honey Thank you so much, it means a lot to read what you wrote. I turned an innocent thing into an argument, I saw yesterday how ocd can turn something against us.
@ocdbelowzero Yes!! That happens to me too. I think I am doing the "right" thing, but I'm actually letting OCD hurt my family through my actions. For example, sometimes I will ruminate for hours. I thought I was doing the right thing to try to solve my questions. But a friend sent me an article about things like this, and I realized that all this ruminating was taking time away from my family. It was actually hurting them. So OCD is sneaky like that. I know it does this to me in other places that I haven't even recognized yet.
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