Feeling pressured by OCD therapy progress

I described ERP as “gnarly” to my therapist. It’s brutal for sure, and I noticed some depression coming up for me after a few sessions because it’s so sad to me to see how bad my symptoms really are. I also had sort of a fear or discomfort with the idea of not having OCD be an issue anymore. I think that’s because, looking at it a different way, OCD is my brain’s way of trying to protect me. It’s just gone so far on overdrive that it’s hurting more than it’s helping now. But once upon a time, my anxiety was there to protect me, and I can be grateful for that while recognizing that I don’t need it so much anymore. Anyway, I hope some part of that feels helpful or at least lets you know you’re not alone. Thank you for sharing 💗

Hi Lennie, I hear you! I feel that worry scripting is making me ruminate more. Also isn’t forcing yourself to think about negative thoughts, images or feeling just reinforcing to your brain that these are important? What I realized with my OCD is that it morphs into different things and that the content doesn’t matter. What matters is catching the pattern and not digging deeper into it. Hopefully this helps!

It’s always going to be difficult. Are you willing to try something different that’s difficult, but can actually help you learn how to manage OCD? There is no cure. There isn’t remission. You will always have OCD. I will always have OCD. I just don’t struggle with it like I used to. Sure I have a bad day or a few hours every once in a while. But it doesn’t control my life. I have the tools I learned here at NOCD to manage my OCD.

That you will always have OCD. You just need to learn how to manage it. Typically with therapy.

The end goal is not definitive it’s a life long process of finding what works for you!

Hi! I’ve felt EXACTLY the same before. I had to advocate for myself and realize the tricks OCD was playing. When I explained a persistent theme to my therapist, he would often say “you have to lean in” or question me with “are you leaning in?” Which felt so triggering that I wasn’t doing enough (even though I was trying sooo hard to successfully manage it). I shared all of that with my therapist and it helped because they are here to encourage and support- not to pressure or push. If it feels like they are, you can have an honest discussion about it and I bet they would be super supportive and change some things to make you feel more encouraged vs defeated (if not, you likely need a new therapist). It sounds like you may have a sneaky OCD theme regarding your progress. If the uncertainty of recovery and your progress causes distress and you’re easily triggered….then the issue likely isn’t you or other people- it’s OCD trying to get you to compulse (analyze, avoid, ruminate) for why you feel pressured and how to make it go away. Maybe you could try sitting with it when you notice it start and telling yourself “I cannot know what will happen with my OCD or recovery in the future nor can I be sure this is the normal healing process. I am going to let these feelings remain and do x,y,z (values) instead”. I’ve been there and had to do that too. You can do this… OCD is tricky, but you will figure out its little tricks with more and more practice. You are not alone. It is hard, but you have the power to still enjoy your life to the full- it just takes time to learn these skills (and the OCD monster flares up sometimes still too)…. But living your values is achievable. Keep doing your best and telling yourself you don’t need to do it perfect. You just need to try

Hi! Okay, but what do you mean by "there isn't remission"? It's a medical term, so it isn't something that just doesn't exist, researches needed to be made first, so they could use this in the term of OCD...So what did you actually mean by this, so we can understand each other?

It can feel overwhelming and I’m also new to this whole ERP thing. I suggest finding specific things you’re bothered by and making a list. If you’re triggered pause and go back to it. Then focus on one thing you want to improve on everyday just try being 1% “better”