Has anyone else got this?

I feel like since I got depressed I have been getting I instructive thoughts . It started with a lot of agitation always feeling like I wanted to snap like no patience then I felt everyone and everything annoyed me and I felt I was going to snap or hurt them . Then I started to feel guilty and get thoughts that I do not love my child and I felt disconnected for everyone ! Then I recently started getting thoughts that I want to die and I can’t live like This but not really wanting to . Then I started getting thoughts well what’s the purpose on living we are just going to die anyways , then I panic then feel like the world isn’t real and I’m in a dream , I’m disconnected from myself . This is aweful I don’t wish this i on my worse enemy , idk what to do anymore ;( I recently tried a ssri no change yet but praying it ends up working , I can’t live like this

saturnaliaaa

Date posted: 22d

Hello friend, I hope you are doing better since this post. I also realized I had OCD/have had a bad flare up here in the past year. I got very depressed during my sophomore year of college and it’s been rearing its ugly head since! I totally relate to the disconnection and feeling so guilty. I just want to say this overwhelming feelings or feelings harming yourself others I would definitely try and get into therapy. I really think it would help even if you try that free call through the app where they ca get you set up if you are able or interested.🩷 I start therapy this week and confiding in my PCP has already helped me so much in my journey.

aaliyahfield...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22d

I was like this for quite the little while. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but it doesn’t last forever. You can live, and you will.

Halia

Date posted: 22d

I am like this right now. Please remember, we got this. It is not our real thoughts; those are OCD thoughts. I will try to joke about that. Today I wasn't after my loved ones, lucky them I was after my cats.

laylayxo92

Date posted: 21d

What helped you ?

Halia

Date posted: 20d

@laylayxo92 I read a few books, one of them being Overcoming OCD by Janet Singer with Seth J. Gillian. I am self-taught, but it is crucial to talk to "our people" and the therapists. It can get scary as hell, but if you start embracing it and think your thoughts through, they fade away. It takes time to train yourself, and sometimes it is so uncomfortable that you literally want to hide somewhere and sit there till the end of your life, but don't. Face them — those thoughts are not real.

laylayxo92

Date posted: 21d

Where does it come from? Depression?

justamelody

Date posted: 21d

I’m in the exact same boat as you, because of it I am currently on a leave of absence and trying not to completely fall apart. You aren’t alone, we will get through this

polki

Date posted: 2d

Yeah whenever I have scary thoughts and feel the need to be in my own head to make sure I’m safe, external stimuli like people talking to me can be very overwhelming and when it doesn’t stop you can snap. Don’t get upset at yourself, you can’t really change it in the moment, but what you can do is try to change the way that you respond to these thoughts through therapy and the way you see and understand these thoughts will have a great impact. keep it up

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