retroactive jealousy

hi, i honestly don't know if anyone is even active on this app anymore. i just randomly found it on the app store but i figure i'd try making a post. i'm turning 18 soon and getting married to this wonderful guy that i met in the summer of '25 with no second thoughts. he's the most amazing person to me ever. but what concerns us deeply is my obsession with his past relationships, it's not mostly stem out of curiosity, it's just anxiety. i recently found out it's RJ (a form of OCD) and it's really depressing because i've always thought of myself as being neurotypical. it's been really painful for us both. we'd be having the best time and then i'd just ask him questions, he'd reassure me, next i'd crash out and have several panic attacks. we're doing long distance temporarily right now and that just makes it infinitely harder. we looked it up online and try reassuring phrases whenever a thought pops up like : it's OCD it's not me. and for a while it worked, until it doesn't and i'm just left there overwhelmed with constant images playing in my head that i cannot control, it is exhausting and affect my daily life so much. i don't want therapy or any form of medications since i don't trust them. i noticed that i only feel this with him, because i truly have only loved this man. but that does not make it fair for us either since he and i both do not have 'clean' pasts. i just want to put it out there so maybe you, the person reading, know you're not alone. i hope just looking at the title helps and thank you for reading till here if you did. i pray that God help us through this. Amen :)

BellaBirdy

Date posted: 8d

And I want YOU to know you’re not alone either! I experience the exact same issue, and yes.. it’s so debilitating. The fact you’re trying so hard to overcome and help yourself is incredibly admirable and you should be proud as well.. :) I know things are gonna get better…. Just keep breathing.

utmost eagle

Date posted: 7d

@BellaBirdy thank you, i hope you make great progress and eventually overcome it

marieparker

Date posted: 8d

i don’t have much advice but i wanted to let you know you are 100% not alone. your situation is so similar to mine! mine is with a wonderful guy i met in the summer of ‘25 also! i’m combating it by not stalking peoples social media , not asking questions and also trying to think rationally. that’s all i got right now but i hope things get better !🩷

utmost eagle

Date posted: 7d

@marieparker aw thanks alot and congrats to you:)i did delete every social media apps and it's the best for me so far. i'll try to think more rationally

RabbitHearted

Date posted: 8d

I hear you! And you're not alone! Honestly, ERP (exposure response prevention) therapy is the gold standard treatment for OCD. Which I can definitely understand that it's scary! But it might be worth a try since your obsessive thoughts are taking over your daily life so much. A good ERP therapist can equip you with the skills and knowledge you need to fight back against the OCD and it can really make a huge difference in your life. Ultimately it's up to you and how you feel comfortable addressing this! Best of luck to you!

utmost eagle

Date posted: 7d

@RabbitHearted thank you, i'm only sharing this with my partner right now but i'll consider it. wish you great luck at overcoming it!

Vinny12

Date posted: 4d

Hi. I have been exactly where you are three years ago when I initially got married. The reason this happens to us is because of our inherent anxiety, and ocd tendencies which try to put us against something we love immensely. I suffered a lot from these thoughts, but hot better after doing therapy and taking medication. I suggest you take therapy as things might get hard if you continue like this. Hope you became alright and be happy. Much love.

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