This is beside my topic but i wanna get his off my chest, so I had a fight with my mom and she was mad at me for like two days. So today she came up to me to make things allright and it i was glad we were okay again. But my mom had the urge to make things up with me and that got me thinking like, my mom does so much for me like everytjing shes the reason im alive. But what good am i to her? Why does she care and fight for me like she does. I know its because shes mmom and we obviously have a bond but like besides that. Wtf am i good for in her life i littersly never show love i never help her spontaneously i never thank her and its hurt so much to say because im aware of what im doing wrong but im not acting on it. Im to scared to show her affection and im to much of a pussy to be a good daughter to her its so hard. All i do is eat her food and eat her money and just be depressed. Thats it so why did she feel the urge to say sorry to me. I love her so much but idk why she loves besides thst im her daughter. I wish i could do better but im so lazy and im always sad and tired and anxious and i never ask her to do somethig together its always her asking me. But on the other hand i feel so stupid if i ask her to do something like idk i always feel akward to show affection. Can anyone relate or help me?

Early this morning, my mom and I had a really, really long discussion. We talked about a lot, but it eventually led to me. She said that because of her past relationships, which she feels like involved some sort of power struggle, sometimes if I hug her too often, she gets uncomfortable/anxious. For context, before my parents (mom or dad) go anywhere, I'll say goodbye, I love you, and give them a quick hug or two. Even if I'm just going upstairs or walking away from a conversation! I've done this since I was little. It might've been a compulsion back then, but it's just habit now. But a couple of months ago, when I was in a really dark place due to OCD, I'd give my mom really long hugs because I just wanted comfort during that point in time. Unfortunately, it ended up stressing my mom out, and she pushed me away once and said it was weird or uncomfortable when I hugged her because it didn't feel genuine. That really hurt to be rejected like that, and then later, my sister told me my mom complained about me in the car about how it felt like I was draining the energy from her and annoying. Which... That hurt, too. But I mainly felt guilt because that wasn't my intention at all, and I've since tried my best not to hug her as often. So when she brought it up again today, she said she feels like she's experiencing a power struggle with me and that when I was younger, she said she felt like everything had to be on my terms. The context behind that is due to me being a really anxious child (and baby). I'd wake her up because I'd get really bad anxiety at night and panic, and she said it was really exhausting and that she's never known what to do with me. Then she went on to tell me really private details about my father and hers marriage (they've been divorced since I was little), and how that's affected her, and I just felt really uncomfortable. Like I want to be respect her boundaries, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable, but... I don't know what to do with all of this...? I didn't need to know those details about her and my father, and I feel really disgusting inside. And also guilty because my dad doesn't know that I know any of these things now, and I'm overwhelmed. I talked to my dad and his girlfriend about it, and I just started crying. I just feel so... Ugh :( They both comforted me, and my dad said that my mom's always struggled with physical affection and that I shouldn't take it personally. But it hurts to be rejected by a parent like that. I've tried the best I can to be understanding and supportive with her, but it just felt like she's seen me as a burden or something unfixable. If you read this far, thank you so much. I'm just really struggling to process this. I felt better after talking with my dad, but once he went to bed and I went back to my room, I just broke down.

i’m crying but i don’t deserve to i’ve had this thought before, my mom works and i stay home and clean and homeschool. lately i have not been doing my part and i understand why she’s upset. every time she gets upset with me she cries, and tells me how bad i hurt her. Also every time she’s upset with me, for some pathetic reason my head brings up when she hurt me as a child, she never really admitted to it but i think it’s because she doesn’t want to think about how bad she could’ve hurt me or brother. slowly im starting to realize how bad of a person i am, I’m a procrastinator and im lazy. i had a dream about us arguing, i said awful things, something’s i’ve never said before something’s i have out of anger and then i start crying. I think im a psycho, im crying so hard rn. i want to fix everything, why can’t i be different? in my dream i was mean and aggressive, and it scared me.

I feel super sad and depressed i'm tired of feeling so scared it's really changing me. My mom is a pretty difficult person she's a borderline narcissist. Over the years our relationship has changed a lot and recently i've been pretty hard on her because i feel so angry that she's not able to support me mentally in the ways that i need. I see now that she's mentally ill herself and i should be nicer and more understanding. she doesn't know better and she's trying her best. she was just a girl once and i feel bad that i said she lacks a motherly instinct. i love her a lot and i love seeing her laugh and be herself. she's super beautiful and unique and she deserved so much more out of life. I think my ocd makes me super angry towards the people in my life because i know i deserve the love i give. I would be so willing to have a really deep loving conversation with the people close to me yet i get such surface level support.