This is beside my topic but i wanna get his off my chest, so I had a fight with my mom and she was mad at me for like two days. So today she came up to me to make things allright and it i was glad we were okay again. But my mom had the urge to make things up with me and that got me thinking like, my mom does so much for me like everytjing shes the reason im alive. But what good am i to her? Why does she care and fight for me like she does. I know its because shes mmom and we obviously have a bond but like besides that. Wtf am i good for in her life i littersly never show love i never help her spontaneously i never thank her and its hurt so much to say because im aware of what im doing wrong but im not acting on it. Im to scared to show her affection and im to much of a pussy to be a good daughter to her its so hard. All i do is eat her food and eat her money and just be depressed. Thats it so why did she feel the urge to say sorry to me. I love her so much but idk why she loves besides thst im her daughter. I wish i could do better but im so lazy and im always sad and tired and anxious and i never ask her to do somethig together its always her asking me. But on the other hand i feel so stupid if i ask her to do something like idk i always feel akward to show affection. Can anyone relate or help me?

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

I’ve found it helpful to write down all of these feelings and share it with your mom, or maybe even show her this post. Growing up, my Dad was never good at showing affection, so whenever I felt depressed and as though he didn’t love me or wasn’t proud of me or whatever, I wrote a letter to him to share my feelings. For me, it’s much easier to do it that way than to try to talk about it. In fact, that’s typically how I address any issues that might arise in any of my relationships (including mom, brother, husband, etc.). Also, from what I’ve heard (since I can’t speak from personal experience as a mother), apparently mothers are able to understand and sense how much their children love them even if their kids don’t show it. So she probably senses how much you love her and understands that you’re going through a tough time, so that’s probably why she reached out to you, in addition to the love she has for you. Please keep me updated! ?

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

Hey, thanks for the comment :) i would like to try this! The only thing in my way is that i cant handle the reaction from her. Im 1000% sure shes gonna cry and come up to me and like hug me and all thst but i dont want that i because then ik gonna cry and thats so akward lol. I just want her to accept the letter and know my feelings and i want everythig to be just normal. So idk even i would write that down too i think she would still come up to me about it...

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

@hocdgirlsummer So...anytime I’ve done this, I’ve left the letter for the person to find and read while I’m not around them. And you can write whatever you want in the letter, so you could also include everything that you just wrote in your post about wanting her to read it when your not around and that’s it’s ok if she cries but you would feel awkward if she did it in front of you and hugged you, and that you’d prefer for everything to be normal afterwards. It’s your letter to her, so you can write what you want, provide it to her in the best way that works for her, and provide her guidance in regards to handle this matter when she’s around you. Good luck!

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

@Beth823 Thanks for supporting, i would love to do it. I think it would takensome time for me to commit to it but i gotta try, it seems like the best option to get it off my chest to her! Thanks for the tip :)

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

@hocdgirlsummer No problem! Also, if you have perfectionism OCD (which I do) it might be better to just share what you wrote here (copy and paste or take screenshots). Otherwise, I’m worried that writing the letter might take too long or is never good enough and then it ends up never happening (I’m definitely speaking from personal experience). Please let me know how it works out!

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