- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve found it helpful to write down all of these feelings and share it with your mom, or maybe even show her this post. Growing up, my Dad was never good at showing affection, so whenever I felt depressed and as though he didn’t love me or wasn’t proud of me or whatever, I wrote a letter to him to share my feelings. For me, it’s much easier to do it that way than to try to talk about it. In fact, that’s typically how I address any issues that might arise in any of my relationships (including mom, brother, husband, etc.). Also, from what I’ve heard (since I can’t speak from personal experience as a mother), apparently mothers are able to understand and sense how much their children love them even if their kids don’t show it. So she probably senses how much you love her and understands that you’re going through a tough time, so that’s probably why she reached out to you, in addition to the love she has for you. Please keep me updated! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, thanks for the comment :) i would like to try this! The only thing in my way is that i cant handle the reaction from her. Im 1000% sure shes gonna cry and come up to me and like hug me and all thst but i dont want that i because then ik gonna cry and thats so akward lol. I just want her to accept the letter and know my feelings and i want everythig to be just normal. So idk even i would write that down too i think she would still come up to me about it...
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer So...anytime I’ve done this, I’ve left the letter for the person to find and read while I’m not around them. And you can write whatever you want in the letter, so you could also include everything that you just wrote in your post about wanting her to read it when your not around and that’s it’s ok if she cries but you would feel awkward if she did it in front of you and hugged you, and that you’d prefer for everything to be normal afterwards. It’s your letter to her, so you can write what you want, provide it to her in the best way that works for her, and provide her guidance in regards to handle this matter when she’s around you. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 5y
@Beth823 Thanks for supporting, i would love to do it. I think it would takensome time for me to commit to it but i gotta try, it seems like the best option to get it off my chest to her! Thanks for the tip :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer No problem! Also, if you have perfectionism OCD (which I do) it might be better to just share what you wrote here (copy and paste or take screenshots). Otherwise, I’m worried that writing the letter might take too long or is never good enough and then it ends up never happening (I’m definitely speaking from personal experience). Please let me know how it works out!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel super sad and depressed i'm tired of feeling so scared it's really changing me. My mom is a pretty difficult person she's a borderline narcissist. Over the years our relationship has changed a lot and recently i've been pretty hard on her because i feel so angry that she's not able to support me mentally in the ways that i need. I see now that she's mentally ill herself and i should be nicer and more understanding. she doesn't know better and she's trying her best. she was just a girl once and i feel bad that i said she lacks a motherly instinct. i love her a lot and i love seeing her laugh and be herself. she's super beautiful and unique and she deserved so much more out of life. I think my ocd makes me super angry towards the people in my life because i know i deserve the love i give. I would be so willing to have a really deep loving conversation with the people close to me yet i get such surface level support.
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel so horrible and guilty, I've been pretty depressed lately and I don't know if i'm doing something wrong or not but my mom keeps getting mad at me, and I keep getting snappy with her. The other day she tried to take a selfie with me and I kinda got mad at her because it was in front of everyone and I didn't want to get anyone uncomfortable if they were accidently in the background so I told her stop in a kind of mean way. She stopped talking to me for the rest of the night and she keeps bringing up how disrespectful I am. I tried to explain to her I didn't mean anything mean by it?? It's triggering my OCD so bad and tonight i'm going to see a band I really wanted to see, and i'm super afraid shes gonna start bringing up how mean i've been lately. I've been really depressed and upset because of school and how much work their giving me, and I've been in my room for mostly more than 10 hours a day doing nothing but watching TV because I can't bring myself out of it, I don't know what to do anymore and the guilt of me possibly being a mean and aggressive person is haunting me.
- Date posted
- 18w
Long vent: First off, please don’t judge and meet this story with kindness. You never know what people are suffering through. My moms the kind of person who won’t say anything if she’s suffering. She usually suffers in silence because she’s afraid people will see her struggles and meet her with judgement like past people have in her life unfortunately. Although I’m not a psychologist nor should I be diagnosing, I do think my mom suffers from OCD. She is overweight, and she’s been struggling a lot with eating. As of late it’s gotten to the point where people in my family are questioning if she’s at the point or no return and it’s been terrifying me. I already feel responsible for this for some reason, like I’m a horrible daughter because I don’t do enough for her even though I do try to. I love her so, so much, she’s my best friend and nothing can happen to her under my watch. I wish I could keep her in a bubble so she lives forever with me, but I know that’s not true. The past two years, she’s had these massive wounds on her legs from an accident on a truck. The wounds have gotten so large and painful, and they haven’t healed after this many years. I had to literally force her to go to urgent care last year because she was too embarrassed to talk about or show anyone these wounds. They gave her advice, said I was right in making her go, and that the wounds aren’t healing most likely because of circulatory issues and the blood from her heart not getting to her legs is stopping the healing process. They showed her how to properly clean the wounds and told her elevate her legs. We did that, but they still haven’t healed but she refused to see a doctor once again due to embarrassment, or she’d put off doctors visits because she couldn’t afford to go or her job would interfere with the timing. Fast forward to today, we had a party for Father’s Day at my aunts house and she’s been keeping the wounds bandaged and using all these sprays and buying adhesives and medicine from Amazon. She has spent so much money on this medical stuff it’s literally done nothing. She can barely walk now, and sitting in a chair at the party today, was like “torture” she said. The dogs at the party were wet, and their tails whipped the back of her legs when they’d wag and I guess she was secretly trying not to cry. I’ve been hearing her whimper quietly from pain for a while and I feel so fucking guilty, like I haven’t done enough for her. I’m trying to help her fix her eating habits, and eat clean with her, but I feel guilty for the times we’d get junk food. She’s a teacher, and she usually goes a full day without eating and it aggravates me so so bad. My first thing when she gets home is asking if we can go out and get food because I just want her to take care of herself and eat something. I know junk is absolutely not the answer here, but when it’s quick and convenient I’d rather my mom eat junk than eat nothing. Yes, I know grocery shopping is the answer and we recently started doing that again. The thing is, she and I hate going in public due to OCD. I feel so bad, because now I’m responsible for this it feels like. She’s been overweight the majority of the time my brother and I have been alive. She confessed to me last year that before the divorce with my dad, she purposely gained weight so that my dad would never touch her again. He cheated on her, and she never wanted him to touch her again, and he was physically and emotionally abusive to her. So, she divorced my dad and took us with her and moved north to be with the rest of my family. I still feel like I contributed to it though, and that I’m a horrible daughter. I never meant to contribute to any of this. I would never fucking to that to this woman I love this much. My brother and aunt said that I enable her and that I’m at fault for a lot of this. My brother I believe also has OCD himself, said I enable this and am responsible for this because I’m not hard enough on my mom. If this is true then I feel fucking horrible. I already regret not doing enough hence why I’m trying to change it now. My aunt says my moms getting to the point of no return. I’m taking her to the emergency room now. I’m trying not to cry and I wish she didn’t feel like she has to keep all these problems to herself. I’m scared to talk to my brother later because he’s going to scold me and yell at me. I don’t know what to do
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