Had a great NOCD therapy season today

@Megan Banks Don't reject Jesus!! Just ignore the doubts. The OCD will bring doubts to you relentlessly. That's why it's called the "doubting disease." Just ignore the doubts and move on. Do you want to try to switch therapists? I am using Saundra Stubbs. She is a Christian, and she's really good. She's really helping me, and she might be able to help you. NOCD is really awesome about letting you switch therapists. I also think you can "bench" your therapist and use another one for a while. I'll send you a link so that you can locate Saundra if you are interested. She recently had an injury , so she isn't working a lot until April. But you could see

@Tea and Honey When I am looking at this app, app and click on "Therapy," I can see my next session with Sandra Stubbs, and then there is a little blue link below it that says CHANGE THERAPIST... So if that's something you want to do, NO CD makes it very easy. Here's the link I used I to find Saundra. I told NOCD that I wanted to work with her, and they made it happen. https://www.treatmyocd.com/therapists/category/christian

@Tea and Honey Huh? What do you mean?

@Megan Banks Are you currently working with NOCD? If you are, and you don't like your therapist, you can switch to someone else at any time

@Tea and Honey I am working with NOCD yes! It’s not that I don’t like my therapist, it’s just that I don’t entirely know if I’m even having ocd anymore.

@Megan Banks Do you want to talk about what doubts that you are having?

@Tea and Honey Yes please!

@Megan Banks Go ahead! I'm listening...

@Tea and Honey Well I just constantly question and doubt if I even really want to believe in Jesus anymore. Apart of me has feelings or urges to rebel against him or reject him. I’ve been Christian all my life and I constantly obsess over these doubts for long periods and get super anxious. I just feel like it’s actually me and not ocd which makes it even more discouraging! I also feel really disconnected from God and don’t know if I want to go back to him or how. I just feel like he’s done with me practically and I’m just so lost!

@Megan Banks I think the urge to rebel against him is pretty common with religious OCD. In someways, we feel like God is the one making us suffer so much with the rules. Even though it's not God,, still often feel like God is making life much too hard for us. Also, it sounds like in your core, that you don't want to reject. When you feel like you might be lost or that you have been obsessing over the doubts, your heart is responding at your core. And It sounds like you don't want to reject God at your core

@Tea and Honey Sometimes the concept of leaving God holds a false promise, because it seems like our lives would be easier if we did that. Because then we wouldn't have to worry about heaven and hell and doing the things that please God, or whether it not we are breaking the rules, etc. etc.. This is all a lie, however. The only healing we truly receive comes through God. Leaving him won't make anything any better . In reality, it is OCD, which is stealing all of our freedom and making our lives miserable .

@Tea and Honey Do you feel like leaving God because you feel like you have to follow too many rules? Or do you feel like leaving God because you feel like Christians haven't treated you right? Is there another reason?

@Tea and Honey I just feel like there’s alot of rules..

@Megan Banks I see! I totally understand that. I have felt very similar to you in that way. In fact, I would guess that most Christians with OCD have felt similarly.

@Tea and Honey OCD can make our lives, torturously hard. It all centers around rules--what we're allowed to do and what we're allowed to do. And the consequences of disobeying seem outright dangerous. There are catastrophic consequences for mistakes. It is a terrible way to live. And when we have religious OCD, we often feel like God is putting this weight upon us. But in reality, God wants us free from all of this. He wants us to live in freedom, not under rules. You can get there!!! And we can actually use our FAITH as a way to jump over the OCD rules. Much of my progress has been just leaps of faith over the dire death and doom and disaster that the OCD threatens me with. That has been the path to freedom. When we have OCD, it's like we don't understand love and grace. It's like we only understand oppression and rules and pain and suffering. It's like our lives are different from everyone else's, because we have to follow so many more rules than they do. I hear you about how hard this is. Remember, this is just OCD. This is not actually how God designed the Christian life to be.

@Tea and Honey What I meant to say is "what we allowed to do and what we are not allowed to do"

@Megan Banks Sometimes it helps to talk about your doubts and feelings. I'm here to listen. I'm happy to listen, even if it's pages and takes forever for you to write. I know how it feels to struggle with thoughts and questions but feel like I never get the time or opportunity to express it. Here if you need to talk...