So much fear and dread

I feel so consumed by fear and dread about everything! It’s so hard to do my work and go about my day - it’s always in the back of my mind that something horrible is going to happen. Whether that is something to do with my health/safety or the state of the world. My OCD/anxiety experience is newer - I took a medication that ramped up a manageable level of anxiety to a VERY high one. I am trying to do my exposures and avoid checking, but the last couple of days it’s been so hard to do and I haven’t been very successful. It’s the worst when I’m alone. On top of all that I can’t continue NOCD therapy bc I don’t have insurance to cover it. I’m feeing really lost and scared!

Frogo01

Date posted: 6d

I am sorry to hear that you can’t continue therapy. Just try to take it day by day or minute by minute if you have to. Something I have tried is when you have that ocd fear creep up, think of it like a fuzzy monster, and thank it for reminding you that the monster thought of something scary, and tried to warn you! You will get through this.

bookishandi

Date posted: 5d

If structure helps, check out a workbook. Two I *highly* recommend are The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by John Hershfield and The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD by Kimberly Quinlan. Quinlan’s podcast, Your Anxiety Toolkit, is also a great resource.

SeptemberSky

Date posted: 5d

🫂 oh my, it is hard to feel scared when everything seems to fall apart at once! But there is always hope. Have you talked to your doctor about the medication and if things can be adjusted? Or if you’d benefit from an anxiety med to lower levels so you can get back to doing ERP? Insurance can be tricky, and I don’t know your situation, but there could be local resources in your area or a way to sign up for more affordable insurance through the healthcare marketplace.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5d

@SeptemberSky Thank you for your reply! I have insurance through the Marketplace but NOCD doesn’t accept it unfortunately. And the out of pocket cost is too high for me to continue paying. I am going to increase my anxiety medicine and try to find another therapist elsewhere. I’ve not felt much improvement with the ERP though so I’m discouraged. :(

SeptemberSky

Date posted: 5d

@Anonymous Ahh okay, I chose a plan that would be covered by NOCD but I understand those might be more expensive. It could be possible to find a therapist elsewhere! How long have you been doing erp? It takes a little while to grow in that skill, it feels like it took me months to get more consistent and see regular benefits from it. Or there are other methods that could work for you like ACT or ICBT

Eschmatter25

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d

Hey there… The only way out is in. EVERYTHING is counterintuitive in OCD, so you must embrace the discomfort and grief of all of this. Welcome it, celebrate it move towards it with glee, just try it for a few minutes. It’ll seem scary and will create emotions you may have never thought possible, but there is sun on the other side. If at all possible, see if you can get a physical to rule out any vitamin deficiencies. Vitamin D deficiency can cause some pretty extreme feelings of dread.

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