someone help please

if you can, read my last post. I think I’m mourning my ex coworker’s sudden passing. I’m ok at times but then get this wave of sadness & cry. I just finished crying to type this out. I don’t know what I’m feeling but I can tell I’m feeling down. I didn’t know him very well and wasn’t close to him but knew him enough to sort of know his personality. it’s just so unfair. he was too young. WAY too young. younger than me. today is his birthday and he was supposed to turn 21. I think I’m feeling periods of grief and then it’s like this numbness…… if I’m like this over someone I wasn’t so close with….I can’t imagine when it comes to my loved ones….. this is so unfair. he was supposed to live. I don’t know what caused it other than it being a car accident. maybe it could’ve been prevented. maybe it couldn’t. I read a comment on a post about his death saying something about “wasn’t he speeding down the road?” so I don’t know if he caused his own death but I just exited out of the page. it feels strange. this is my first time hearing of someone who I knew had passed. and I feel like it’s fueling my current fear of losing my loved ones very soon or suddenly this year or maybe next month. I didn’t have that fear before and now it’s here bothering me. help. can anyone share tips to feel better??? or to cope better??? and about the fear thing, how to overcome it??? I hate that my brain is putting many thoughts…..man, I wish there was a cure so I wouldn’t have to worry much… should I just focus on myself, do my hw and spend time with my family??? I don’t know if it would be rude on his birthday…. I asked my dad if we could have another movie night & he said yes. I’m just sad. someone comfort me :(

Miki1997

Date posted: 5d

I've literally been feeling exactly the same way lately. And weird thing is same story, I just recently lost an ex co worker of mine, and he also passed from a car accident. I would say the best thing that worked for me when I couldn't snap out of being sad and overthinking about losing loved ones, was to be around my family and friends more so I can talk about it, and distract my mind while hanging out or doing something you enjoy. The worst thing you can do is sit alone and not talk about it. Also I absolutely do not think it's rude, your friend would want you to be happy and doing the things that you enjoy doing, and just being yourself.

veinsoul

Date posted: 5d

@Miki1997 thanks for your comment. I was going to say that my family came home & I was talking to my dad & felt better. also, the coworker was not my friend but someone I worked with. yeah it sucks. but yes, he would probably want me to enjoy my life.

Miki1997

Date posted: 5d

Something else that seemed to help me when I lost a loved one in the past, Was to sit and just talk to them. Sometimes this was comforting for me to cope with a loss. And I don't know if your religious but praying and believing they're in a better place always helps me.

veinsoul

Date posted: 5d

@Miki1997 yeah, I sort of did some “talking to my coworker.” a bird was on my fence while I looked out the window and somehow thought, maybe that’s him and he’s paying me a visit. anyway, yeah, once my family came home, I felt better. I wish my mind wouldn’t feel so scary. I hope to get rid of this nonsense one day. I don’t want to overthink anymore. I don’t want to be scared.

Miki1997

Date posted: 5d

@veinsoul Awww perfect I'm happy your feeling more at peace!🙏😊 I belive he was for sure listening!😊 I feel you there lately, I have moments where I get discouraged or lose hope about getting better. But the more videos I have watched from people that have the same condition, and they got better gives me proof that if I'm patient and I try every day to get at least 1% better each day. You'll look back and realize how much stronger you are and be grateful for not giving up on yourself, your never alone in this! I know this feels like forever , but if you keep after it and be patient with yourself, and do ERP and the research, it'll all come together , I promise.

veinsoul

Date posted: 4d

@Miki1997 thanks for the kind words. I’m sending you peaceful vibes from my end! something about today; I woke up feeling quite anxious for no reason (or it being the weird unpleasant dream I had) but have been saying “maybe or maybe not” to negative thoughts! I have caught myself about to go down the thought rabbit hole and then stop it with “maybe, maybe not” I went to class today & almost randomly had this wave of panic like impending sense of doom and I blocked it! I still feel a lil anxious because of the haunting thoughts I had yesterday and me anticipating for them to return. but I trying to focus on my studies and being productive today. I might feel yucky randomly but I will pull through.

Miki1997

Date posted: 4d

Awww thank you!😊 I'm so glad to hear that!!!😄 so proud of you for pushing through the feelings! I understand waking up that way, but don't let it set the bar for the rest of your day! Sounds like you didn't today tho!!💪 chase the high of feeling good and keep going! Learn to be ok with the unknown, and uncertainty! Practice makes perfect!!🙂🙌 I'm glad you made breakthroughs today! So hyped for you!😄💫

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