I get the feeling- You’re not broken, you’re exhausted. What you described (constant anxiety, intrusive “what-am-I-doing” thoughts that won’t leave you alone, feeling anxious around everyone even when the thoughts don’t make logical sense) is that classic OCD: the brain flags harmless or unwanted thoughts as dangerous, then your attention and body respond with high alert. That alarm can run all the time and feel overwhelming. That doesn’t mean the thoughts reflect who you are. It means OCD is using fear and doubt to get your attention, which sucks.
Here are gentle, practical things you can do now to lower the flood of panic and start getting some distance from the thoughts. A therapist would tell you to keep these in your “toolbox” for when you’re feeling anxious.
Immediate grounding (do these when anxiety spikes)
1. 5–4–3–2–1 grounding: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. Slow your scanning of the world, it pulls attention away from the thought, lowers your anxiety, and returns you to the present.
2. Box breathing: inhale 4s, hold 4s, exhale 4s, hold 4s. Repeat 4 times.
3. Name the thought: quietly label it “intrusive thought” or “OCD thought” without arguing with it. Labeling reduces fusion with the thought.
Here are some short behavioral rules that help (do them consistently, they will help solve this pattern you’ve described)
1. Resist reassurance and checking (telling yourself “I’m not like that” repeatedly, googling, asking others). Those behaviors feed OCD even when they feel comforting.
2. Delay the compulsion: if you feel the urge to neutralize (flick the light switch 17 times if that’s your thing, etc) postpone it for 15–30 minutes and observe the anxiety curve, it will drop on its own.
3. If you’re having 2-3 thoughts a day that are really making you anxious, schedule a 20–30 minute “worry window” each day. When the thought comes outside that window, jot it and say “I’ll deal with that at worry time.” This reduces constant mental scanning. Later, you can work on dismantling the thought in the moment to see it is indeed just a thought.
A safe, structured next step: gentle ERP practice. I won’t get into that, but longer term you’ll want to look for a therapist who does ERP/CBT for OCD (the International OCD Foundation and NHS pages explain this and can help find clinicians, there are some on this app too). Medication (SSRIs) can also help if symptoms are severe, but that’s to discuss with a psychiatrist. 
You’re doing the right thing by noticing and reaching out. Continue to do that if these things persist.
You’re not alone in this. You’re absolutely allowed to feel scared and also to get help that actually reduces the fear over time. I know I dumped a lot of info here, but take away 1-2 things if you can, I’m sure they’ll help. Keep going!
