depressed

i dont know what say without a fear of triggering others on here but i feel so helpless i just started therapy and will have my first erp session tomorow has anyone ever felt just to broken and beat down by life right now i feel like a monster and having trouble not hating myself i also try to reinvision myself as other people who have it together attractive funny and smart sometimes while talking to someone i feel like a spectator like my life is a movie but i see myself as someone who is more likeable prettier even during disagreements someone who is understood and not hated but rather felt sorry for instead of being the antagonist it makes me wonder am i just truly crazy typing this makes me worry that since im typing it it is true what if me typing this means i will find out im crazy and a awful person after all i cant except that as a outcome it makes me sick i just wanna get well and know that im not crazy or a monster and that i deserve to be loved happy and to get well and recovery is possible for me it all feels so bleak

MR.25.25

Date posted: 4d

i wish i wasnt me and wish i could be someone else someone who has it together and not broken

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 4d

I totally understand what you are saying. And I really relate to you. You're not crazy. The OCD is a terrible disease. And it causes all of these swirling thoughts. The OCD wants us to believe that we are monsters. But it's just not true. Everyone on this app understand what you are going through. It's not your fault. It's a disease. I'm proud of you for starting ERP. I think everything will get better for you!! It's going to be hard work, and it's going to take time, but you will get better and better. You are doing the right thing by going into therapy!!!! So good job !!!! I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I understand that. I really do. But you are on the right path. The good news is that you are not alone! In some ways, OCD is a predictable disease. We always feel alone when we are in it, but it actually affects all of us and very similar ways. OCD is the same at its roots, even if it manifests into different particular themes. It has very similar strategies with everybody. But it also means that once you learn strategies and tools, you can start defeating it! You are not alone ,!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

Please remember that due to the nature of OCD there are many, many people who suffer in silence and you'd never know that theyre going through this as well. You're not alone i promise 🫶

MR.25.25

Date posted: 4d

@Anonymous Thankyou everyone who commented I can’t stop crying anymore and been feeling awful right now it feels like it’s ruining everything my family is tired of me and it really hurts sooo bad right now my only support is this app and the community on here I’m so sorry that anyone else experiences this too it breaks my heart because no one should feel this miserable 😭 it’s really just brutal I feel like a prisoner of my own mind so my heart truly goes out to anyone who is suffering as well from stupid disease

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 4d

@MR.25.25 I totally feel your pain. I am just so so sorry. I am sending hugs all the way through the app to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to know that it can get SO MUCH BETTER in the future. There is hope. I am also so sorry that your family is not supporting you. I can't imagine that. My family is really behind me. It must hurt so bad to not feel their acceptance and support. I'm here anytime if you want to talk!!!!! I take enjoy taking to people on this app. I've been dealing with OCD for decades. I'm here to listen ANY time!!!

MR.25.25

Date posted: 3d

@Tea and Honey Thankyou !!! GOD BLESS!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

❣️🙏

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