I deal with insomnia, as well as very bad anxiety/OCD spikes at night, so I think I may have good insight and potential tips for you! The main thing I want to point out is the more anxious you are about sleeping (being able to go to sleep, how much sleep you're going to get, whether or not something is working for you regarding sleep, etc.), the harder it is to sleep. This is because you're creating associations between sleep and anxiety, which ends up as a self-fulfilling cycle.
Now, my second biggest piece of information that I learned: even if you don't fully fall asleep, even just laying down with your eyes closed allows your body to heal itself (just like it does when you sleep). It isn't as much as sleeping, BUT there's been studies about it and you actually still benefit from doing this! It may bring some peace of mind when you're going to bed to know that, even if you aren't entering a REM cycle by sleeping, your body is still able to recharge, you will have some energy for the day, and hopefully it'll make the concept of sleep overall a less anxiety-related thing.
Some of my tips for you, though they may not be the most helpful:
– Try to do things that are enjoyable, but a little boring. I have fallen asleep scrolling on Instagram reels so many times... this works the best for me, particularly because I'm not getting invested into something like a tv show or Youtube video, but it's enough for me to zone out to if I really can't sleep.
– If you're able to look into medication for insomnia, that may be helpful. I've taken insomnia medication before when I was really struggling to sleep and found that it helped sometimes!
– Work on the emotional associations you have with sleep. When I was in the trenches of my OCD, I associated sleep with a lack of control over my intrusive thoughts which resulted in a LOT of anxiety about sleeping. I struggled a lot to sleep because of how anxious I got about sleeping, and it only decreased when I got better about handling my symptoms. Like I mentioned before, if you associate sleep with anxiety (for whatever reason), the harder it'll be to sleep.
I think my last thing of note is to try and be gentle with yourself. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason, and it's incredibly taxing. I totally understand your desperation and I really hope you're able to get a good night's rest soon!
