First time with real event OCD - please help

I’ve had ocd in the past and learned really good coping strategies around it. I recently went through a major life change and divorce and some realizations that have sort of spiraled me. I’ve looked at some of my past actions I wasn’t proud of. Most definitely didn’t harm anyone in any way, but did things I shouldn’t have and it’s not impossible I could still face repercussions in the future. Of course my ocd, especially during a transition, likes to cling to that “not impossible” even though I rationally know the chances are quite low and worst case scenario is probably not even that bad. My mind just runs through every scenario, every possibility, every way my life could change if this is discovered. And it could be well into the future too, which really bothers me because it’s like will I ever have peace?? It’s just a mix of regret and fear. And urge to confess, especially as someone who’s starting to date again I’m always thinking should I confess this to a new partner?? What if they have to find out later down the road and I didn’t tell them anything??? Everything feels like a trigger right now and it’s so exhausting. It feels harder to implement my old coping strategies because this time around my brain is telling me “well this is a real thing with real possibilities.” Any insight would be really appreciated because I don’t want to live in this anxiety anymore

Diana Rachel

Date posted: Yesterday

Your brain gave you these thoughts because everyone gets intrusive thoughts. But you reacted in fear to them (because of feeling anxiety about it which is totally understandable) but that taught your ocd it was right about the danger, which then your brain started to focus on the perceived threat of that topic more to make sure you’re safe, but your ocd already learned because you reacted in fear and placed important and possibility in them so your brain keeps giving u more and more thoughts. The issue is not your brain. Not your ocd even. It is your reaction to them, assigning them probability and meaning the first few times you had these thoughts, which began the ocd cycle of compulsion. It is your reaction. You can’t think your way out of ocd or convince urself out of it. Only pulling urself back into the present moment and SWITCHING YOUR FOCUS to an activity that supports caring for yourself, your loved ones or your values will teach your brain that completely ignoring these thoughts is the correct thing. Then and only then your anxiety will reduce and your brain will literally lose interest. But it only does so at your conscious and purposeful direction. Your brain will try and pull u back in because since you reacted in fear the first couple times it was TAUGHT these thoughts were dangerous/real.

jjjj887

Date posted: Yesterday

@Diana Rachel I get that, it’s just like my previous themes. Like I said, I’m just struggling with this one having a REAL potential threat. Truthfully, there’s probably a 5% chance this situation will resurface and if so an even smaller chance I will face the worst case scenario. But it feels like I can’t help but to play out all of those possibilities to almost protect myself

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