ROCD

@the forgetful Thanks so much. They were most likely attempts of reassurance seeking or some sort of compulsive behavior. Definitely asked having due to my obsessions. The scary part is getting an answer that you don’t want. Then what!

@Mk3 i think im learning not to care what other think and just do what makes u feel happy, i do this thing where i say to not follow my anxiety fears or thoughts idk how to explain but im an over thinker so i know when i feel like that i have to do my best to go with what i’ve been working for instead what my head is telling me or trying to make me feel like doing

@Angiebri30 Thank you!! Even if I get an answer that someone thinks my fear is true I can still go forward with what I’m working on (sitting in uncertainty with it instead). Because who cares what others say . I’m sure my therapist knows better than random opinions

@Mk3 Yes - I don’t know if this helps, but two things my therapist said that helped me years ago to remember in those moments: 1) The fact this thought or idea bothers me is because it is most likely against my values or desires. It can be helpful to remember what your values are. Sometimes, new thoughts challenges or open our values to new ideas. I wonder what it is for you? 2) I have to address what the real fear is. It isn’t just the thought or idea that is scary. It is what comes after. I tend to catastrophize and say, “I will lose everything. No one will like me. I will lose all of my relationships. I will lose my job.” That is the fear. Loss. Once I started facing that, I realized my OCD was trying to protect me against my real fears. So, it presented new thoughts to try to “correct” or “ruminate” about to avoid what I was actually fearing: loss, death, big scary things. That was really eye opening for me. Because… thoughts are just… thoughts. Easy to say, of course. Edit: I just noticed this is an ROCD post. Sorry - I didn’t address that in my response but it still may apply. Maybe the fear here is loss. It may be important to tackle that a bit. What is the loss I am afraid of? What does it say about me that I am afraid of losing this important thing?

@the forgetful and i’m afraid is losing what i’ve been building for myself and ofc my loved one and everything else im aware im not perfect but i always tell myself that what matters is now and what matters is that u fix it soemthing that helped me reading some things is it attacks what u value the most and someone who cares a lot wouldnt be overthinking so much sometimes it calms me but then i get anxious need to seek reassurance have to check my loyalty have to look in the past have to double check what i felt in that moment i start thinking what i could of done better on why am i like this why was i born this way this is the first time im also settled and calm the only thing messing with me is my head now.

@Angiebri30 Yes, it sounds like habit is rearing its head. OCD is definitely a creature of habit and loves the cycle. It is hard to go against that, but it is amazing to hear yourself acknowledge all you have accomplished through trying something different. For me, I recognized OCD’s voice will most likely always be there for me. It is a part of my wiring, but I choose not to let it control what I do. Some days, I listen to it. Some days I don’t. I ask myself the same things you do. For me, I give it all to the Lord. I will probably never understand fully the depths of this disorder and why this is my pain to bear. But it is mine to have to manage. I hope you are proud of all you have done to work through it. I am proud of you!

@the forgetful i appreciate u replying to me i’ve gotten nervous telling my part to someone. I have the ugliest mind and it terrifies me.

@Angiebri30 I feel the same way. I’m constantly looking back to make sure I haven’t done wrong. The best thing to do is to avoid doing that bc it’s compulsive and not helpful. It’s sooo hard tho! And not to fix things. Feel, don’t fix!

@Mk3 but it’s so hard to feel because of my mistakes to and i was aware of how i was before im scared maybe i’ve still done wrong and even if i did i can’t fix it. I’m very open and love talking to people now im scared to and don’t want to. Told my gf this and she understands but sometimes i tell myself no she doesn’t. She’s bi and she would admit to things to and say it’s normal relax. I have had pocd to and i can hear the voice telling me i like kids or other things and i was able to conquer that but why can’t i conquer this other things now.

@Angiebri30 OCD’s lie is that we are unique. I mean this in the best way possible. It lies and says: no one has the thoughts we do. No one would understand your way of thinking. The truth is: we all have similar or the exact same thoughts. Some people just have a better filing/throw away system. And we unfortunately get stuck with all crappy ones floating around in our head. The weird “positive” part of this disorder is when we get interesting and creative ideas in our head, they stick sometimes too. OCD loves to switch up themes. That is a reminder that the content doesn’t matter. It will always change - I am speaking as someone that has had many OCD themes in my life… I know it is tiring. You aren’t broken for not having the bandwidth to conquer it all the time. Edit: I hope I don’t come across as pedantic. I just feel so passionately about this and want to remind you and others anything that has helped me progress on the journey.

@Mk3 Love the reminder to feel and not fix!! I am going to hold on to that one.

@the forgetful no i want to thank you so much for having the time to reply to me i understand and im doing my best. I have a session tmr wish me luck:)

@the forgetful i’m going to keep this in mind as well🙏🏽