Does anyone else struggle with this ?? Pls help

I’ve never thought anything like this before and just recently started getting the thoughts that what if when I used to drink years ago when I was drunk maybe someone wasn’t kissing me back or maybe someone has a video of me doing that . I would never do something like that purposely but then I start to think what if I didn’t know what I was doing when I was drunk or someone has videos of me doing that I’m so scared this would be considered sexually assault. No one has ever said I did anything like that but It just feels so real. I haven’t really seen anyone with this particular thought so I just automatically assume it’s real . Does Anyone relate or have the same thought

Briauna3201

Date posted: 2d

Oh yeah. I used to be a heavy drinker and I constantly worry about this shit. I just tell myself it’s a thought and I can’t control it but I know I’d never do that.

KCSM67

Date posted: 2d

@Briauna3201 It’s so hard if you ever wanna talk I’d love to , may I ask how you got to the point of knowing you’d never do that . My ocd makes me think it possible I could do the worse of things.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

You are displaying the textbook OCD themes, the WHAT-IFS, and the feeling that the intrusive thought is real. I strongly encourage you to seek help from a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy. ERP is very effective. In the interim, you may want to work on a few ERP tools that I learned in therapy. 1. Accept uncertainty. Example: "Maybe it happened, and maybe it didn't. " 2. Stay in the present. Example: "But it's not happening now, andI'm not plotting on it happening." 3. Stay in in difference: "If it did happen, so what?" What you're doing, by accepting uncertainty, staying in the present, and being indifferent, you're taking away OCD's mojo. You're refusing to ruminate over it. If you work with these tools, the episodes should begin to dissipate. OCD is, basically, malware in our brains. ERP therapy is designed to clean out the malware. NOCD can help you find a good, trained OCD therapist. Hope this helps.

KCSM67

Date posted: 2d

@Steven55! Thank you for responding , I’ve been doing erp for awhile now but for other themes this one just seems extremely scary and when I use the maybe I did maybe I didn’t statement and non engagement phrases it just doesn’t help rlly bc the maybe I did is just so bad

sj_sj

Date posted: 2d

I struggle with this type of rumination too. One thing that helps me is saying “is anything happening right now? Is anyone telling me I did something wrong?“. I think this is called ICBT (inference based CBT)

KCSM67

Date posted: 2d

@sj_sj It’s comforting to know it’s not just me . This one I really struggle with because it’s like why would I think this if it’s not real.

CarmenOlivia

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey! Glad to hear that you are doing ERP in therapy! While I was still drinking I struggled with False Memory OCD as well. The truth is you don't know the answer, maybe you did, maybe you didn't. There is no way of knowing and no amount of ruminating can change that. You have to accept that even tho it's very hard to do so. If your brain starts ruminating about it, say "Maybe, maybe not" and try to go on with your day. If you do this over and over it will get easier to resist rumination. Hope this helps 💫

KCSM67

Date posted: Yesterday

@CarmenOlivia Thank you for the comment, I try so hard to do my maybe statements but usually they haven’t been working because the maybe so just seems so horrible. I really just want to get in to contact with someone who was with me that night but ik I’m not supposed to do that I’m really struggling

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

Are you in therapy?

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I ask this , because many of us try to do it on our own. From my personal experience, it's not as nearly effective than therapy with a trained OCD therapist. OCD will throw you a zillion curves, trying to keep you in its grasp. I found it very important to have a professional therapist to cach me through it.

KCSM67

Date posted: 2d

@Steven55! Yes I’m in therapy with an ocd therapist but this one I posted about is completely new

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

@KCSM67 Talk to your therapist about it. S/he can guide you through it. Just know that what you're going through, many of us have gone through the same, or similar episodes. You're not alone.

KCSM67

Date posted: 2d

@Steven55! Thank you Steven

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