Can’t turn my brain off at night with bad thoughts

@Anonymous Thank you so much!

@I’m Batman Thanks so much

@Mom2Hobbes Thank you! I listen to audio books and try to let the thoughts come and go but they are so overwhelming

@Mom2Hobbes Sometimes I worry my body is just going to take over and do something bad.

@Stacey353 I was told once that feelings aren’t facts. That helps me a lot. I know it feels like we are going to do something bad but that doesn’t mean we’re going to. My responsibility ocd and my values won’t let me do it. But I struggle with that too, it’s exhausting! I’m especially fearful because I’m doing stuff in my sleep. I picked up my cpap machine while I was sleeping. I dropped it and it woke me up. So I feel like I can’t trust myself when I sleep. But I choose to believe that doesn’t mean I’m going to do something bad, I’m a kind person. And you are too! We can’t let those fears control us.

@Mom2Hobbes Yes that’s like me I’m such a kind person these thoughts are like of someone else!

@Mom2Hobbes Oh boy , I used to hate my CPAP machine when I first got it. I used to sleep walk when I was a kid. Not so much now but I will still do things in my sleep like throw something or whatever. One night I ripped the mask off and chucked it at my dog while I was asleep. Poor dog had no idea what was going on. I used to feel guilty about it but I finally accepted , I can’t exactly control what I do in my sleep. And I have gave the dog extra cookies the next day so I’m sure he doesn’t remember either lol.

@I’m Batman Oh gosh yeah that’s got to be hard. Do you ever worry about maybe doing something while your asleep

@Mom2Hobbes You’re so right about not letting the fears control us!

@Stacey353 I used to. But I’m learning to not worry about what I can’t control. I’ve been married a long while. When I was younger I would sit and ruminate about , what if this and that. I would go deep into that ocd rabbit hole. I what if I hit my wife or something worse. The cops would never believe I was sleep walking right ? Then what would happen to my kids and pets without either of us around ? I mean you can take as many what ifs as ocd will give you, you know ? One night my wife gave me a valuable life lesson. I am about half a sleep and she’s over there sawing logs. Dead to the world as they say. She pulled the cover off me, as wives do :). I giggled a little and pulled them back. Mind you she’s completely unconscious. At that point she rolls over and knees me in the groin. Hard too, like I had just threatened her or something. I did not yell cause we had just got our youngest to sleep and did not wanna wake him. So I lay there grabbing my junk and suffer in silence. We wake up the next day, she had no idea it happened. Could not recall it at all. She apologized for it but did not feel guilty for it. Never thought about it after that day unless I bring it up in a joke. And slept like a baby the next night . Know why ? She does not have ocd. She does not worry about what she can’t control like we do. You or I? That’s at least a month’s worth of sleepless nights ruminating on if we will do it again. And probably a few days of guilt and shame for how dare we let our bodies do something we can’t control. If she does not have to worry about it though, why should I? Because ocd says so? I quit playing by OCDs rules that week lol. I’ve accepted that something might happen. But until then, I don’t have to give any energy to it. I will cross that bridge if I ever get to it.

@Stacey353 I always think that something bad is going to happen to my body when I have the slightest pain or discomfort in any part of my body. My neck was feeling like I had just ate for 10hr straight and felt so sore, then I got to thinking that my throat was swelling shut and went SPIRALING about dying or my body shutting down… I end up taking my alprazolam (low dose) to just calm down but I didn’t realize that this happens to other people and it’s not “just me being crazy” it’s a real thing. No one seems to understand how my mind works and how scary it is for everyday thoughts…. Sorry that was a lot

@kassmills I agree with you it is so scary!

@Stacey353 I feel bad for just popping pills but it’s literally the only thing that calms me down when I need it and I can’t get out of that spiral 🌀

@kassmills * they are prescribed and at the lowest dose! But it does the job!

@kassmills Girl no way you should feel bad it’s helping you keep your sanity!