Loss of motivation

Nothing in what you wrote sounds like you’re blaming anyone. It sounds like you’re being very hard on yourself while trying to make sense of an emotional shift. When your nervous system has been in distress for a long time, it can temporarily shut down access to access to things like excitement and motivation. Not because those things are gone, but because your brain decided that conserving energy and avoiding risk was safer. I’ve been here, too. I find it helpful to hold onto the fact that emotional flatness doesn’t mean I don’t care; it means I’m exhausted, and lack of excitement doesn’t equal lack of meaning. It’s easier for me to treat motivation as a side effect rather than a target. So doing things because they’re scheduled, not because I feel like it. And when the thought “I don’t care anymore” comes up, it can help to rephrase as “this is what my brain sounds like when it’s exhausted.” Give yourself a little time, and a lot of grace. You got this!

I go through phases of life where I feel this way

Aww it is absolutely okay for you to take a break from everything. You don’t have to always be happy, but you might be if you just keep going! Not much else to do but keep on living :) There’s no one to blame, it’s not your fault. Take it easy, I hope you’re doing okay and I’m very proud of you for making it this far <3

I totally understand this

Thanks to all of you. I have been so happy for months now. Enjoying life, work and everything. Then I felt it start to creep in last night. First harm thoughts. Then at school feeling like a horrible teacher and just scared of losing control and screaming bloody murder. I know it will pass but I also allow it to rattle me and play with my fears. Maybe allow is not the right word. Oh well this is where I’m at w my ocd today. I feel like just because I’m tired or not motivated it HAS TO MEAN SONETHING BIGGER! It’s the false alarm reading my dip in energy as the end of the world. So let it! Just ride out the waves. Sorry for my rant but if anyone understands it’s all of you guys. Thanks for the support and love. We may suffer but we will be ok!!!!

Hi BellaBirdy 👋 I totally understand this!! For me, I realized after a lot of therapy that this was my Perfectionism OCD trying to take over. My “spiral” had ruined my perfect plan to live my best life possible…and because “perfection” was impossible, it felt like “why even try?” Two things helped me: • *Working with my therapist on making realistic expectations for growth.* Shifting my plans away from grandiose changes to slow incremental growth has led to a more balanced approach to life. When things don’t go according to plan, those detours are treated like mole hills instead of mountains! • *Accepting imperfection*. I had to work very hard (and still do) to accept how deeply flawed and incongruent all humans are…including myself. And that is OK. Accepting an imperfect past while pursuing a better (and likely imperfect) future has felt so freeing. Thanks to the cognitive work in and out of therapy, mistakes are starting to feel like lessons, not final judgements. Fears feel like something to take note of instead of something to be controlled by. OCD feels like a harmonious part of me that I can manage even in the most difficult circumstances. It will always be here, but I don’t have to have an adversarial relationship with it. We can work together through ERP to adjust our fear levels, and I can learn from my OCD more about who I am—it is always pointing at my deepest fears. That is a very unique compass to have that can be kind of useful! All this to say: don’t let a small spiral get you down. There are lots of ways to view a small setback—let it empower you to keep improving, little by little! You’ve got this! 💪