feeling discouraged

would love to hear some positive success stories as im feeling completely discouraged. my amygdala (fear center) is just completely on overdrive mainly tied to a thought that once I get ROCD about someone (friend and romantic) I have to completely cut them out to be calm ever again. mainly because every time ive had the rocd it never calmed down. I now have it with a few friends I really care about. The ocd and anxiety make it feel like its impossible to practice the exposure therapy because the anxiety never actually comes down on its own. no matter how long I sit with the feeling of anxiety it doesn't come down. its pretty much on 95-100 percent of the day. Does anybody else have this problem with an ocd thought where its always there so every second feels like its just one big exposure.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

This is so hard. Sorry to hear these experiences. I can say that you definitely don't have to continue to cut people out of your life. I used to end every romantic relationship one way or another because of my ROCD. I had it the worst ever when I was dating my now husband. All day long. My eyes shot open before 5 am and I had recurring panic attacks all day long. I was exhausted and lived like that for months. It was one of the worst things I've ever gone through. Though I struggle with anxiety and OCD still, I don't live like that now. I just wanted it to stop. Think of how far you've come simply being able to say what you're going through. Maybe there was a time where you didn't even know how to voice it (maybe not). I hope for peace and healing for you

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

thank you for the kind words and its great to hear you were able to push through it. gives me hope.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous OCD is the worst thing ever. Things are coming up for me and literally traumatizing me all over again because I just started my erp and my ocd is telling me that i didn’t share things with my therapist the right way or tell her enough details so I’m actually a bad person and will never get better. So when I say I’ve improved it’s true but also not perfect. Starting erp is very triggering for me. Not with my rocd but pocd

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous - thanks for sharing on my post. I had PODC at points, no you are not alone. it is a hell of a disease.

lostmyswag

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous you're right, there was a time where i didn't know and i would just follow anxiety, panic, and numbness in a relationship ship as truth to leave. i never regretted leaving those relationships though, but there was always another good guy waiting to pursue me after, and i always have had the approach of giving people who enter into my life a chance, so i never looked back or regretted leaving those people. in my current relationship, we have discussed marriage because that's how we both want to approach dating, and that sent me into a perfectionistic trap. this is the first time i've truly had ROCD to the point of it consuming my life, and now i find myself comparing how i feel now to those past relationships i know i don't have feelings for. i genuinely love and admire my boyfriend more than i ever have someone, he's also so patient and understanding, and fights for us as hard as i do. it's so good to hear that you married that man. very courageous of you and that gives me hope!!

lostmyswag

Date posted: Yesterday

YES, Like that's why i don't fully understand exposure therapy because i feel like im constantly being exposed to my deepest triggers and fears from my own thoughts 😭😭 i know exactly what you mean. and i also believe i have damage to amygdala from multiple neck injuries. ive noticed that after each one ive had my anxiety got increasingly worse. so i almost feel like this is something i can't even manage within my control without serious help

ocdmememachine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

It feels like rocky training arc but I got up the stairs. Thats how I describe the ocd journey

OC-She

Date posted: Yesterday

I felt this way with my partner for a very long time (months to years.) I’m so much calmer and happier now. I don’t consider ROCD to be a big problem in my romantic relationship or close friendships anymore. It was so hard but definitely worth it. Hope someday things will be easier. Its okay if it feels like its taking a long time ❤️‍🩹

GodsTreasure

Date posted: Yesterday

I haven’t fully conquered ocd yet, but I’m getting there. I fully believe in my recovery and here’s what I have so far: when I found out about something bad that happened to me, I could no longer relax and was put into a state of constant fight or flight. Intrusions seemed to never end. The good thing is that I’ve improved tons just by journaling. Also I feel so much better now that I’m on new meds. Time heals a lot of wounds. Peace be with you 🤍

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@GodsTreasure Thanks for commenting. I’m having trouble believing it will work and it makes it worse. With other ocd types I could brush them off knowing it will pass. Just a tricky ocd subtype for me.

GodsTreasure

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Of course ✨ you don’t need to overthink it in order to believe. When you believe something, you give it power. Give power to recovery. It’s like putting pennie’s in the hope jar: it adds up! One by one you’ll be there. Treat every penny/accomplishment as something to be thrilled about cuz it’s a celebration. I believe in you 🤍

Alliesun

Date posted: Yesterday

I did ERPT when I was 20 (I’m 34 now) and I was mostly symptom free for a decade. Went in planes by myself, I went on a trip to Europe with friends, I went away for college. My OCD came back after a bad panic attacks but I still was able to marry my husband and enjoy my wedding day. It’s important t remember OCD is chronic, but we can still live full lives. I’m now struggling with more OCD, but I know I can overcome any version of compulsion!

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