Life sucks right now

So… found out I’m pregnant and was really excited but stressed. Started to have wild thoughts again about getting arrested and my husband’s got a plan with family/friends to leave me because I’m crazy. Don’t know what to believe anymore tbh. Starting to think I don’t even have OCD and I am just crazy, my husband has told me I am before so why shouldn’t I believe him? Starting to get really scared too bc I just want to be a good mom and am I okay to have a kid? He won’t tell his parents I’m pregnant because he’s scared of what they’ll say which is weird. I have never thought they liked me bc they’ve treated me poorly on multiple accounts and disrespected boundaries. Not looking for reassurance, I guess I just needed to vent and also ask how anyone has dealt with pregnancy while having OCD. Thanks.

Anna,hi!

Date posted: 19h

What do you like to do with your time? I am just asking because doing something that you enjoy is helpful to get out of your head

EmBean9

Date posted: 19h

@Anna,hi! I read… a lot, gets me away from this world for a bit. It’s weird though bc I’ve been having Déjà vu a lot while reading which is like triggering me to then go into a thought spiral. I also enjoy playing games so maybe I’ll focus on that.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@Anna,hi! Great idea- any way you can activate the body too, like gentle stretching or just anything simple that feels accessible and might be somewhat relaxing or enjoyable (walking is another option)

Joejoebean

Date posted: 16h

I have OCD for since I was a kid, I have 2 children, toddler and a baby, this is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Yes my OCD still exists, and even moreso because it latches onto things you care about, but Im telling you childbirth is scary, but you got this!!!!!!!!

bulldogmom

Date posted: 19h

Hey! Congrats, first off. I’m sorry to hear your husband is not willing to tell his parents. That’s not fair to you to live in secrecy. I am 7 months postpartum, and was not officially diagnosed OCD until couple months ago. Didn’t realize I had it my whole life, but intrusive thoughts really picked up pp. Let me know if you have any specific questions.

EmBean9

Date posted: 19h

@bulldogmom Thank you I read that the hormones can exasperate OCD

EmBean9

Date posted: 19h

@bulldogmom Congratulations btw!

bulldogmom

Date posted: 19h

@EmBean9 Yes, definitely. I think initially we thought it was just pp, hormones can give you a wave of emotions! Until the intrusive thoughts picked up and started sharing more about mental compulsions I had which I always thought was just wanting to be perfect, never knew it was OCD.

EmBean9

Date posted: 19h

@bulldogmom That’s what I do is the mental “rituals” like repeating things and checking etc. Also thought it was perfectionism. You don’t have to answer, but was there specific therapy or medication that helped you? (I don’t think I can take meds now but for later on)

bulldogmom

Date posted: 13h

@EmBean9 I’m currently on Prozac! The starting dose is 10mg, and when I’m going through heavy thoughts I might increase another 10mg - 20mg, I like that it is pretty flexible in that way (with doctor guidance of course).

bulldogmom

Date posted: 13h

@bulldogmom I tried ERP at an “OCD/Anxiety” center, but my other symptoms were too high for me to do exposures. I’ve done a PHP / IOP program and honestly that’s been the best for me! You learn so many skills. When I was postpartum, I just a PP IOP therapy program, so it was just a bunch of moms and helped to relate both with babies / mental health things going through.

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