Just feeling alone, and really guilty over the thoughts. I’ve been trying my best to work on it and try ERP on my own but I can’t get out of the dump. On the bright side I’m going to the doctor tmmr to see about getting my Pristiq upped or to get on an actual SSRI
I’ve been stuck in bed for three days, seems like as soon as I feel a little better I fall right back and distance myself from everyone and everything
I just can’t get out of this one like I’ve been able to in the past, I wish I never would’ve quit my medication and had to restart because it has made it way worse. This theme is unbearable
Do you feel comfortable describing your theme? Maybe some of us on the community board have dealt with it and can offer you some help.
@Steven55! Right now it’s POCD, just intrusive images that are really bothering me, I don’t want them here I want them to go away because it’s not me
Why not seek OCD therapy with a trained therapist who uses ERP? ERP is very effective when you have a trained coach. Doing it by yourself can be very tough, because OCD will throw you may curves to keep you on its treadmill. Meds are only marginally successful without OCD talk therapy. NOCD can set you up with a good, trained therapist.
@Steven55! I got a therapist near me I’m supposed to see that accepts my insurance they have dealt with OCD before but don’t specialize in it. I want to use the therapist here but they won’t take my insurance
@Bassfishing - Do you mean that NOCD won't take your insurance? If not, check out the International OCD Foundation website. They have a directory of qualified therapists, based on area. Maybe you can find who takes your insurance. I urge you to try this first. Therapists who practice standard psychology are not very effective with OCD. If they don't use ERP, which is the gold standard for OCD treatment, AND know how to use it, they're not trained.
@Steven55! I found a couple therapist through the OCD foundation and got to talk to one I really connect with, while my insurance is being ran he even offered a free 20 minute session for 9am in the morning to get to know what’s going on and more about me this is so helpful thank you so much for that
Have you used your ERP tools: accepting uncertainty and staying in the present?
@Steven55! The only tools I really know about is , just accepting it as a thought allowing it to be there without judgement and I try that and it won’t work
@Bassfishing - I can give you a few things I learned from ERP therapy with a trained OCD therapist, but I'm not an OCD therapist. Based on my experience, what OCD is doing is giving you the idea that you're a pedo. You're having thoughts and images to support it. In your heart, you know you're not, but OCD is trying to persuade you otherwise. What you're experiencing is called "thought-action fusion." You can Google it for its definition. The bottom line is this disorder is trying to keep you ruminating over it, and experiencing the awful anxiety that goes along on it, which is what you're doing. To get off the rumination treadmill, ERP teaches us to accept uncertainty and to stay in the present. Example: "I accept the uncertainty that I would do it (or... "maybe I will, and maybe I won't), because I don't know the future, BUT I'm not doing it NOW, I'm not planning on doing it, and I have a choice." Then, go do something productive and/or fun to distract you. What you have done, over time, it take away OCD's mojo. You're no longer agonizing over whether you are, or not, you're just saying, "whatever." Over time, you should begin to see the thoughts dissipate. Why? Because you're facing the bully, and realizing that you're not, and are not going to do, the awful, intrusive thoughts you're currently experiencing. Another term to Google: ego dystonic. I think it will help. What you're doing is untangling the malware in your brain. It takes time, and it takes coaching. There is much more to ERP than what I have shared with you. I don't feel qualified to share more. This is why I recommend you try to secure a trained OCD therapist who is well-trained in ERP therapy. OCD is a peculiar disorder and doesn't respond well to standard therapy from someone who studied it in a textbook. Hope this helps.
@Steven55! Thank you, I’m supposed to have an interview with a potential new therapist in the morning that specializes with this and go to my doctor tomorrow to work with my medication too
@Bassfishing Good. Ask your potential therapist I'd s/he is PRACTICALLY trained in ERP therapy , and if s/he intends to use it. Also, find out how long s/he has been using ERP. If s/he evades your question, you may want to consider another therapist. Just my experience...
@Steven55! He said he deals with OCD that’s his specialty and does ERP
@Bassfishing Great!
You’re far from alone. And god I understand the feeling. Leaving bed feels like a whole hurdle.. 🫂
@BellaBirdy I start feeling better towards the end of the day and it gets right back to being bad when I wake up, I guess the feeling better is just an illusion from being exhausted
@Bassfishing Yep. It’s like at nighttime I have this newfound confidence and happiness then BAM! In the morning it’s overwhelming guilt
@BellaBirdy It’s a terrible cycle, it really takes it out of you
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