Anyone else have this?

@erl44 It feels so real like it’s my real feeling and like it’s actually me who feels like they like it or is curious about it. Also I’m desensitised from the thoughts 🙁

@lu22 That’s what ocd does its a false alarm in your nervous system but the more we engage those intrusive thoughts because how strong the urge is(think about it like this when we have a rash the more we scratch it,the worst it gets the more we leave it alone the more it heals but it’s a process) So the more the thoughts become stronger because OCD can be a neurological hijack so the loops and scenarios become a cycle and can traumatize our nervous system deeply because they feel so real! by so many loops in our heads and that’s where the “ what ifs” become so much louder your not a fraud I get where you are coming from 🫂your just in shock,and worried,but that’s the exposure right there, the thoughts you feel are so against who you are, and even if they feel so real your heart knows it and you recognized them.that shows Your thoughts don’t define who you are in identity. your actions do.🌅OCD may be a part of you but it’s not who you are.and it will never be.. i hope this helps 🙏

@Mark1003 Thank you for your reply, I feel so alone in this. I literally start wishing that if there is a chance I could be evil, that I could just not be here anymore. The problem I’m facing is I am so desensitised from the thoughts that when I have intrusive thoughts now it’s like they are part of my normal thinking and it feels like IM the one thinking them and not that their intrusive thoughts because I’m not scared. Sometimes I feel these ‘urge’ feelings or as if I wanted to ‘act’ on the thought but I have zero anxiety and it makes me feel like I’m sick minded. From previously trying to test myself, I would deliberately imagine doing these bad things to see how my body would feel but it had an adverse effect because now I’ve got into a bad habit of imagining really gory things on purpose and it feels like I’m sick. This time around, I had this horrible moment where it felt like ‘imagine you acted on it anyway’ and I had zero anxiety and just a almost pending feeling of urge like I actually wanted to do it or would do it. I told my mum and she told me don’t be silly and I just went quietly in my room thinking, I actually wanted it and just on a ‘whim’ didn’t do it. And I can think of that and bring it on anytime, so now I feel like it could happen again and I would actually do it. It feels like I’m not worried and don’t care, like I’m not thinking ‘I wouldn’t want to hurt people’ or ‘deep down I know I don’t want that’ it just feels extremely real. I’ve felt fake and like I can’t come out of this and like this is who I am now and I’m trying to be good when I’m not 🙁🙁

@Mark1003 Sorry for long message, I feel really alone in this 🙁

@lu22 Don’t be sorry. You’re not alone in this. I’ve had those thoughts too, and I understand where you’re coming from. OCD can make intrusive thoughts feel very real—especially when there’s little or no anxiety. That’s what makes them so confusing and scary. I remember having thoughts that felt real because I wasn’t anxious, and I panicked. What I understand now is this: our nervous system gets tired from the constant cycles and loops. When we engage with intrusive thoughts, the brain starts to treat them as important—even though they aren’t. Intrusive thoughts are not desires. They go against our core beliefs. That’s why they feel so distressing. Even when they feel real, they’re not. The real you is still good—and always will be. OCD is a false alarm. It’s a hijack. Intrusive thoughts come and go. We can’t stop automatic thoughts from appearing, but we can choose how we respond. You can say: “This is OCD. This isn’t the real me.” And you are safe—more than 100%. 🫂

@Jrp1013 It feels so real and I’m desensitised from the thoughts but it makes me feels as though I actually want it and like it’s a choice and that I could actually choose to do it and when I ‘don’t’ do it, it’s as if I don’t know why I am not acting on it. Because I am desensitised it feels like I don’t even know why I’m not doing it. That makes me feel like I’m a bad person who wants to do them because I should feel like ‘no I wouldn’t want to do that’ but I just feel nothing and instead it feels like I want it. It’s really bad

@Jrp1013 I also get these weird feelings like as if I’m secretly happy/like the idea or about to smile like I’m evil inside. I have this horrible thing as well where I will randomly think ‘imagine you done it anyway’ and it feels like it could happen right then and almost like an urge with zero anxiety 😭😭 I feel like I’m evil and suppressing evil urges