My thoughts are like:

“Man, today is a really good day. Like a really really good day. I resist some compulsions without distress. This is so easy. Maybe I’m cured? Wow, this therapy is really working. I’m cured! Did I ever really have OCD? Uh oh, a trigger. I have to solve this now. I can’t resist the compulsion. Let me check with ChatGPT. Once I get reassurance from my wife I’ll be fine. I’ll check the locks one more time. Oh god, I have OCD so bad. It’s completely consuming me. I should be in a hospital, this is SO bad, OCD is completely controlling my life. I can sit with this discomfort. I can do this. Phew! I did it! Okay, I feel great now! Am I cured? Holy crap maybe I don’t even have OCD after all?” It’s just that on a loop, every day, all day.

j vv

Date posted: 3d

Hi Vee92 👋 this sounds very similar to a ‘backdoor spike’, a clinically documented phenomenon. The sudden spike of dread and OCD symptoms is essentially OCD throwing a tantrum because *what you were doing was working*. Here’s a link to learn more: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/backdoor-spikes-how-to-deal-with-sudden-ocd-episodes You aren’t broken. You aren’t backsliding into a horrific OCD episode from which you will never escape. OCD is just trying to provide certainty because you felt uncertainty about your future. Don’t let it win! You are stronger than your ocd. Backdoor spikes pass very quickly if you do not engage with them. Best of all, backdoor spikes are usually a sign that OCD is being extinguished…you are essentially starving OCD out, and it is flipping out as it shrinks. This is progress. Keep it up 👍 ✨

JessieJoy

Date posted: 3d

Thank you so much for sharing this. Saw this post and read the article because I thought, I've had this before and I recognized it and it went away. Well without even realizing what it was, it was just happening again tonight. That's why I got on the app tonight bc I was feeling discouraged, when I was just feeling so confident I was doing better than I ever have been only like a day ago. This felt different, the thoughts were different, so I didn't even know that's what it was. I'm still partly questioning it since it feels different from before but pretty sure its this again.

j vv

Date posted: 3d

@JessieJoy Thank you for sharing! I’m glad it helped. Definitely run your symptoms by your therapist if things continue to feel “different”. It may mean you’ll have to slightly tune up your approach to OCD in response. Without giving reassurance, whenever I note a change in OCD’s behavior, I like to pause and be grateful I noticed it. For me, a change in my OCD often means it is trying to find a new fear to latch onto because the old one isn’t working any more. It could be a backdoor spike, it could be OCD shifting tactics…but it usually means OCD is on the back foot instead of me. That’s something to celebrate. This is also why I am very focused on addressing root fears in therapy together with compulsions. When I can accept and live with uncertainty, there is no fear for OCD to turn against me—even if it attempt to shift to a new strategy, it won’t find a solid foothold to start growing. Something clicked in me over the course of a year of therapy where I simply don’t want to live a life dictated by fear any more. That resolve has helped me stay consistent! Hopefully we can all continue to support each other. Good luck out there yall 🫂

Vee92

Date posted: 3d

@j vv Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this!! I had a good feeling that this cycle meant my treatment was working, but I love seeing that this is a known and documented phenomenon. This process is so painful and confusing, but I completely trust that it means I’m on the right path.

T.028._

Date posted: 3d

It's very noisy I understand and it must be very disturbing 🤏🏻🤏🏻🤏🏻

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond