I think it’s the worst it’s ever been

I have been in a spiral for 6-7 weeks now. My longest ever — and it feels so real that I’m just really struggling to not make a decision. My mind has told me that my fiance isn’t the one and that my doubts are valid because I don’t feel this intense soulmate connection. I’ve never met a guy more patient, sweet, funny, or handsome than him all wrapped in one. And yet I feel nothing. I broke up with him in the early days and doing that has haunted me. When I think of romantic songs, I can’t apply those feelings to him (a compulsion of the day). I can’t believe this is my life.

pudzeez02

Date posted: Yesterday

Remember to follow your values. The OCD is telling you that you don’t want it, but your values say otherwise. Lead with those, and don’t let those stupid OCD thoughts win. It’ll take time but you’ll get there. Sendings hugs 🫂

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I can relate to this so much, for me its been 3 months but continue choosing each other day by day <3

kmp88

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Have you given your partner any indication of what you’re going through?

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@kmp88 - yes he knows everything

kmh222

Date posted: Yesterday

I am so sorry you are experience this pain. I know it very well. The spiral is torturous but remember it’s temporary. There is hope. ❤️

kmp88

Date posted: Yesterday

@kmh222 It feels so permanent, though. Like I made up my mind but I hate the decision? These feelings tend to spike after my therapy sessions weirdly. I have been nitpicking what might be wrong with why I’m having doubts and I landed on an idea that really resonated tonight, so it feels like I’m just spiraling into it.

Trying To Be...

Date posted: Yesterday

Sending you so much love and support friend! This is one of the most distressing thoughts that has entered my mind and ruminating on it is exhausting and almost debilitating… I hope you know you aren’t alone and I’m praying for you and all us who experience this… God Bless and keep your head up, show yourself patience, grace and mercy… we will find the peace we deserve I know it 😌🙏

kmp88

Date posted: Yesterday

@Trying To Be Better Thank you. Can I ask — did you always struggle with this kind of doubt? Did it come on from something specific? I have struggled with this one doubt before and so the fact that it returned is really worrisome to me.

Trying To Be...

Date posted: 23h

@kmp88 Hello! Like you, I also called it off very early on because my anxiety was overwhelming… I struggled with a fear of relationships for a while now and unfortunely my fears flare up quite badly from time to time, the uncertainties can latch on to any number of subjects which is extremely overwhelming sometimes. At its worst it can be entirely debilitating… I don’t have all the answers myself yet but have found this app along with their associated Instagram account to be helpful! I also found a podcast called ‘The Anxious Love Coach’ and would sometimes frequent resources from the r/ROCD subreddit, however this can sometimes become a compulsion. Overall I find that slowing down and taking it one day at a time to be most beneficial and allowing yourself grace to sift through the thoughts from a distance. I haven’t had any type of therapy but am leaning toward it sometime in the future 🥹 I pray all the best for you in your journey as well! We really are not alone and I know we can overcome this! God Bless 😌🙏

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