claairelee
- Date posted
- 6y
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 6y
I have it too but recently realized the relationship between feeling guilty as absolution and feeling like you’ve served your time and completed something as a sick victory- and how addicting the cycle is. I have found myself scanning my past searching for more things to feel guilty about and always feel the need to confess or hear someone’s perspective that I’m a good person- but as relieving as that feels to hear, it doesn’t help because i seek it out again with more detail and more context. Your past doesn’t define you. Hindsight is 20/20. Every second is a new chance to define yourself. Try to spend it being kinder to yourself. Reminding myself that I’m more capable of making better choices now, and that everyone learns and grows at their own pace helps.
BogeyBogey
- Date posted
- 6y
And keep in mind, when you look back in hindsight, you are looking through the completed negatively skewed lense of OCD....your memories of the past are not accurate...give yourself a break
BogeyBogey
- Date posted
- 6y
This was very helpful, thank you...I go through periods where almost any present experience triggers a feeling of guilt from the past....
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 6y
@bogey so do I!!! And then other times I’m free of guilt and any memory associated with it. I realized that a lot of the things I’ve felt OCD type guilt over were actions I stopped before carrying-out when I was at a young age. And even at a young age i carried guilt for things that were very normal for that age/circumstance, which i can laugh at or understand better now without guilt. Only now, new items are amplified. Your past self wasn’t as developed as you are now. I like to think that maybe I’ll be more developed in the future and laugh about my guilt for these things I feel guilty about today... side note: if the guilt is for a crime, perhaps you should discuss that further with your therapist. But having reckless anxious obsessive thoughts isn’t a crime. It’s part of OCD. Having guilt over something that’s justifiable is also part of OCD. Justifying OCD guilt isn’t a product of being an evil genius, i believe it’s just another part of letting yourself know that this is OCD and you’re not a bad person— just feeding the cycle of obsessive guilt/compulsive absolution (“release the oxytocinnnn!”) When the guilt comes for something that I have previously justified as not a big deal, I’ll try and say “nothing I did was even a big deal!” adjust my posture, take a deep breath, and resist from diving down the rabbit hole.
noone800noone800
- Date posted
- 3y
i know this is from a while ago but this really helped me! i year ago when i faced sexual obsessions i would look at my cats butt and see if i was aroused. I NEVER hurt her i would just look or let her and look at her butt. I feel bad like i abused her but i know i didn’t. i’m accepting uncertainty but thanks for sharing that advice 4 years ago!
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 6y
Clearly I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this lately...
Philippians4:7Philippians4:7
- Date posted
- 6y
Same and since I'm Christian it also makes me feel like I don't deserve Gods love. It really saddens me ?
Linus 56Linus 56
- Date posted
- 6y
Phillipians now you do deserve his love please what your brain tells you is not true
Linus 56Linus 56
- Date posted
- 6y
Same for me its terrible thats what your ocd tell you you dont actually want to hurt anyone and you dont deserve death
Philippians4:7Philippians4:7
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much @Linus 56
Related posts
bkelp213
- Date posted
- 25w
Can’t function for all my guilt
I’ve done things in the past few years that I’m not proud of - only a couple of things I can think of and they didn’t directly hurt anyone at least with is relieving (but maybe indirectly they sort of did or could’ve which makes me hate myself because why did I do that… *how* could I do that…) If I could back and stop those things from happening, I would. I may not have thought about what I was doing at the time, so I didn’t really recognize that they weren’t okay, but that doesn’t excuse them, and I would smack some sense into my past self if I were able. I feel like if anyone knew what I‘ve done, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. They’d write me off as worthless. And maybe they should to be honest. Now yet another thing has come up - I haven’t done anything, but I had an intrusive thought pop up that made me *think* about doing something and this would be unforgivable in my opinion. Though, to be honest, the things I’ve done before are also somewhat unforgivable in my opinion… 😞 Regardless, I don’t want to do it because I don’t think it’s okay, but I worry deep down that I do. Or that I’m looking for an excuse to make it okay to do. I don’t know, it’s complicated. And I’m upset I even thought about it. I wish I had never seen the thing that triggered that intrusive thought. Yet another thing I would stop if I could. I’ve tried to not think about it or focus on it, but it doesn’t work. Even if it goes away, it just comes back again. I just keep thinking about it and it’s overwhelming. Anyway all of the guilt of this is killing me. I feel like an irredeemably terrible person and it makes me want to give up. I can’t get on with life because it’s paralyzing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and at this point, it feels like I don’t deserve to just move on. I can’t live with myself and I feel like I don’t deserve anything anymore. I know a lot of this is probably OCD, but I’m not sure all of it is and I don’t know what to do… if I spoke to a therapist about it, I don’t think I could bring myself to say what I’ve done or what thoughts I’ve had. But if I was told to move on by someone who didn’t know the truth, I would worry they wouldn’t really say that if they knew. Agh, it’s all just a mess 😞
issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 11w
Does anyone else’s OCD or brain..
cause immense guilt when receiving gifts? Or when someone is nice to you, the guilt just floods every vein of your existence. I feel so awful :( awful about my compulsions, about some of my thoughts, about who OCD has made me. My boyfriend just gifted me something, and I have such a heavy feeling in my chest. Worst part is: when I’m not feeling guilty I’m spiraling over that gift was enough, if it could’ve been “better.” I feel like an idiot. I don’t understand why I’m like this
Sillygoose27
- Date posted
- 11w
OCD Guilt
I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
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