21+ adults only please

My bf and I have not been in a great place in our relationship lately. I have not been the best gf. We had a discussion/argument last night that was decently fruitful. He told me to list three things that I can do to improve our relationship based on concerns that he had. I listed three but he said I missed the point about one of his concerns. We talked for a little while longer and then I told him that I needed to go to bed so I didn't fall asleep as it was getting late. He hung up and when I texted him he said I made him cry. I thought perhaps it was because I had to go, but he wouldn't really tell me because he said this happens every time we talk. After more discussion I think it's because I missed the point on his concern earlier. I struggle to process things correctly sometimes and I'm at a loss for what to do. I feel awful and fear he'll break up with me.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey girl I am so sorry you’re going through this. This is something that’s really difficult but I think sometimes the best thing we can do for our relationships is sit down and ask the other what do you need from me? It’s sounds silly and it may sound like oh well shouldn’t I already know. And my answer to that is no. Because we are not mind readers, and some of us struggle to understand exactly what our partner is trying to get us to understand. And that’s not a bad thing, it just means that we really have to work together and communicate more in depth. So maybe sit down with him and say hey I apologize if I missed your point last night. Can I ask what do you need from me, because I think I’m struggling to understand how to move forward. Or struggling to understand what I missed, or whatever it may be

elisabethj2001

Date posted: Yesterday

I feel like if I were in your shoes, I would express my concerns and be open with him about the fact that you have trouble processing things sometimes, and try to connect with him that way, and in turn, perhaps ask him if he could openly express how hes feeling whenever he may feel hurt, angry or saddened by times you may not 100% understand or process the situation at hand. We all need a little help sometimes. If you can just be vulnerable and understanding of each other, I'd say you'll both be fine. I say communication is the medicine and poison for relationships nowadays and if it isn't any good, then things will only get worse.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

And it’s not to undervalue you and say you’re in the wrong and you did wrong. It’s just about saying hey I feel like we’re on different levels of understanding how do we meet in the middle. Cause him asking you three things I think was ok but since you believe you missed one of the points and that made him sad, I feel like it would have been easier maybe if he told you what he needed if that makes sense. And I’m sure you guys are a great couple, it just sometimes takes more in depth communication that we would like

𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆🌻

Date posted: Yesterday

I can't edit my post but to add to this he said this happens every time we talk

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆🌻 I guess my question would then be, how do we change that. Like what specific aspect keeps happening and what specifically needs to happen so it doesn’t get repeated

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond