OCD feels kind of like its own neurotype in a way

I’ve seen a few posts about this before, but it really strikes me as true. Long before I developed any sort of real, clinical OCD symptoms, my thoughts fell into the same sort of patterns that they do now. I’ve always latched onto things so easily, and been so careful about how I do things. Like prayer - when I was a kid, I was religious, and would pray for people. For everyone. Just in case not praying for someone meant that they would be harmed and it would be my fault in some sort of roundabout way because I didn’t cover my bases. Apparently, this is very common for religious kids who grew up to have OCD (although I question if OCD isn’t more common in religious people in general). Also, vivid intrusive thoughts and images in response to anything perceived as potentially harmful. This, along with needing things to be in a particular order, liking to collect things and hating to give them up, latching onto certain things in a positive light as well, needing to do or say certain things in a particular, ordered way to be fully comfortable, etc. I don’t know. I’m getting evaluated for autism at the moment, and I just generally liked routine and had a vivid imagination with an inclination for neuroticism, so maybe it’s just that, but I also don’t really feel like I’m autistic. I feel like I’m pretty good with people, aside from my social anxiety struggles, and I don’t really have any sensory issues that I’m aware of - it all just makes me wonder how much, if any, OCD is rooted in genetic, structural, neurological differences. Anyone have any thoughts? I haven’t researched it yet at all, but I’m considering doing so

MusicGirl33

Date posted: 12d

I have always had some OCD behaviors before it really got bad and took up more time (having to ‘stop’ intrusive thoughts before I became a bad person, being perfectionistic about the ways I did things, etc.) and also grew up in a religious household. I also think it may be rooted in those type of things.

fish><>

Date posted: 12d

@MusicGirl33 Thank you for sharing! I really relate, and it does make sense that a lot of it would be rooted in experience - it is an anxiety disorder at its core. I hope you are doing well now in spite of it all!

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12h

I have always had OCD-type thought patterns, and so I do think in my case and that of many others it boils down to fundamental wiring of the brain. That is why OCD, like autism for instance, often can't be "cured." Even now, as someone whose symptoms are subclinical at this point, I have to make a conscious effort not check things or organize things for comfort (because doing so always leaves me feeling worse in the end, as my standards are ever elusive and can never actually be met). My take is that some people are probably "born" with it and it simply becomes more apparent over time, while others may develop it due to some life stressor and in that case it is more of a learned behavior/coping mechanism (hardware vs. software). For me, obsessive-compulsive cognitive processes are what came naturally; I had to learn to be "normal," and I truly do think that I lost or at least suppressed a part of myself in the process, even if it was for the greater good (because I was highly impaired by it). Ultimately though this is all conjecture on my part and isn't rooted in any sort of formal scientific investigation.

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

Also, as you said you are getting evaluated for autism - same here! And I'm also someone who doesn't think they have it lol. I certainly do think the broader "neurodivergent" label could be applicable in my case, as I have always interfaced with the world differently from my peers (and did not have any friends growing up because of this). I had severe social anxiety to the point of selective mutism; I would "know" what one should do in a social situation, but then I would basically do the opposite due to fear of performing incorrectly. It almost feels worse in my case because at least for autistic people or those with social pragmatic communication disorder they are actually missing those social cues, while I see them and then fail anyway. Apologies for dumping all this random info on you, and please don't feel obligated to respond in kind. I just saw this post and wanted to share my own experience!

fish><>

Date posted: 9h

@Kai on the Wall Wow, thank you so so much for sharing, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone more similar to me in neurotype! I do the exact same things socially (see the cues then fumble anyways, which I can likewise never tell whether is due to social anxiety or some other problem - it’s awful knowing that someone wants something, even knowing what they want and why, from you, but feeling incapable of meeting that expectation) and I use the same avoidance tactics with perfectionism (even for obsessions I’ve gotten over or have never had, I have to resist the urge to fall into compulsions and perfectionism regarding them. Personally, I know I can also be pretty avoidant in a negative way due to this as well). Regardless of scientific validity, I really resonate with what you said about the learnt vs inherited ocd, and how you’ve described your own experiences, so I really appreciate you taking the time to share!

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