Community discussion: Explaining OCD to someone new

I’d say OCD makes you doubt the things that matter most to you. For example, if you care about being a good person, it makes you think you’re not. If you care about the wellbeing and safety of others, it makes you think you’re harming them. If you want to please God or your parents or your partner, it makes you think you’re disappointing them. If you want to be proud of your work, it convinces you its imperfections mean it’s worthless. Basically, OCD can latch onto anything, as long as you care about it. And it bullies and screams at you until you believe it. It can convince you that you’re helpless and worthless and make you feel so very small. And the only way to overcome it, is to accept that those horrible things *could* be true. To accept the possibility. Which is incredibly difficult — which is why people with OCD are *tremendously* resilient and brave — superheroes in their own right. Because we get so much practice staring down and standing up to our worst fears. ❤️

I would describe it as this: There is a part of your brain that is deeply traumatized. It is very scared and afraid of further pain, grief, or failure. It is so scared that it constantly screams out directions on how to prevent further bad things from happening, even when the bad things are not going to hurt you anymore. It makes you feel that if you dont follow the directions, the worst possible thing imaginable will happen to you, and listening to it and doing what it says is the only way to prevent it.

Depending on the type of OCD you suffer from. Imagine having a constant thorn in your side that produces the most unsavory thoughts you could ever imagine. An you're so repulsed by these thoughts that it makes you not want to go into public due to the fact even if you know they're not true, you believe everyone else believes otherwise.

“ it’s like a pop up ad in your brain that you can’t close.”

I just explained my ocd to a friend who has adhd the other day. I actually showed her what mine is like. I was cleaning, had spray bottles on the counter, showed her they must be straightened or else it drives me nuts. Same at home. I drive my partner nuts. He does the laundry, puts the towels away in the bathroom, I re-fold them. If the toothpaste is turned to the backside, I need it on the front showing the brand name. Tons of other stuff. I told her its a way to keep things in my life under control, because of the trauma I've suffered that was out of my control. Also, I got the ocd from my stupid dad.

Imagine a fire alarm going off every time any candle in your house was lit

I say: “It’s a “control” disorder to try and tame anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It’s exhausting.”

Its like chronic pain. You cant figure out why, but you are constantly being pushed around by all kinds of thoughts and feelings. Every time one of those sensations hits, you cant stop thinking about how to fix it.

imagine if “step on a crack, break your mama’s back” was real

Probably relate it to a shared experience, or maybe references from a tv show or video game we both know

Depends on the type of ocd. But for me I’d say it’s like you’re trying to live your life, except it’s not just your life, it’s also a play. With a big audience. And also the audience can read minds.

I also think it’s important for others to understand that they can’t fully understand. I think too, an analogy is one of those nagging cuts we’ve all had on our hingers or hands, the mysterious ones that are so tiny, yet hurt so greatly. At another’s glance it seems too small to even notice, yet the person with the cut has that nagging pain from it, like it hit a nerve or something. This is like OCD but x1000000000++++. It may seem inconsequential when explained, but when put into words, ocd’s true effects are hard to describe. I don’t think anyone can truly understand without going through it. and that’s okay. I find it’s more about (for the person trying to empathize) for them to simply understand that it is very complex and know that they can’t begin to understand. The best insight is hindsight, because looking back before my OCD presented, I remember not knowing what it was at all.

taking ss of these answers, i’ve been really struggling with explaining it. i want to tell my circle of people but i feel like i end up sounding crazy (i prob don’t but the over correcting makes me trip over words and speed talk) thank you for these!!

tornado warning alarm bells that a toddler got the hold of the controls to. keeps scaring you over and over that something terrible will happen, each time it’s just as scary, or scarier. You gotta start to figure out this toddler is full of it, but deep inside the toddler themselves is deeply scared, just wants you to make sure control is mantained … idk could use some work

I say it’s like when you’re holding a baby and you think for a second, “what if I dropped this baby,” but now you think that thought on repeat until you no longer want to hold the baby, or say the word baby, or maybe even think about babies.

It's kind of like having a broken magic eight ball that only offers non-commital answers like "ask again later" to questions that won't leave you alone

That when it’s severe, it’s a level of agony and mental torture that you can’t fully understand unless you’ve lived it yourself.

It is just not exclusive to washing hands all day

Imagine that you have a bully inside you head 24 hours

… it’s has been impossible for me among my family and friends , it’s a nonsense subject to them. Their attention span on it is almost nothing . I just mask and carry . I’m changing that by leading by example with treatment now. … in public when I’m in a situation that requires me to deal with my ocd … levels I introduce myself as I am neurodivergent …on the spectrum !! and I suffer from PTSD from head trauma. Then I ask if they understand what that means ? … Maybe 🤔 only a third of people I’ve experienced interaction with know what I’m talking about and just look at me weird . … Some are dismissive in nature and others turn authoritarian , like a teacher might project to a slower student in their class. Ugh … Very few are kind , understanding and caring people.

But on a real note, most people really don't, they think OCD has to do with being obsessively organized or clean. There's so much more that it encompasses the condition. Most people cannot begin to fathom it unless they've experienced it.

In a very short, easy to understand explanation, the word “easy” is sometimes the difficult part.

I did this for the first or second time a few days ago to my cousin, I was expecting him to kind of have a stereotype of what “ocd looks like” but I told him about my symptoms that aren’t popular and he was able to understand because I used A LOT of examples. I think maybe taking them through what a day in your life looks like can help so they can see how the thoughts and behaviors interact with one another and such. I did regret it though and I think that’s because I’ve had OCD for so long that I’ve learned to find a kind of comfort in it, so telling someone about it makes me feel like I’ve just given apart of myself away ☹️

The thing is that, for example, I cannot even think about how to say to someone about having OCD. To suddenly start speaking about it during a conversation would look cringe (or at least it seems to me so). So while having a conversation, my mind sometimes scans the topics to “catch the moment where I could mention OCD.” But at the same time, the mind tells me, “do not speak about OCD, do not spoil the moment of conditional relief” - and, of course, this becomes another compulsive rumination: should I somehow mention this or not. Because if mentioned, I would like to be understood at least a bit, that this is not mere “overthinking” — and that would need some excessive examples to tell. And then you do not tell about this. Just later on, after the meeting with some friend, the mind begins to blame you: “why didn’t you tell about this - you had an opportunity and you ruined it.” And afterwards, while being amidst an OCD attack in some public place, you try your hardest not to look like a weirdo. After that, you think maybe I should explain about my OCD - but there the loop begins again. It’s like a topological paradox of a Klein bottle.

You wouldn't understand… Lol.

OCD is Unwanted thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviors called compulsions. Sufferers resort to compulsions to try to get rid of the thoughts. They get relief for a split second but the thought and fear comes back. ERP is the gold standard treatment for this disorder because it teaches individuals with this disorder to accept uncertainty without resorting to their usual compulsive behaviors.