That’s it… i probably am looking for reassurance but really just anything to help me stop hating myself enough to quit crying n go on with life. I haven’t done anything bad but I just don’t like who I am and all the things that make me upset. It’s getting really hard to feel like I’m of any use to anyone like this.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s such a mean disorder. I don’t know you but I would bet you mean quite a lot to many people and do a great bit of good in the world. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves but that doesn’t make the good parts go away. You deserve peace.
You deserve peace for sure; I’ve also felt this way before and what I’m going through right now also seems to be amplifying everything I don’t like about myself; as hard as it is trust and believe yourself that you will come out on the other side of this challenging time learning how to love all those same parts of yourself
@Mcneelyc2183 Doesn’t feel like that’s the case if I never have been able to but I’m trying to stay positive… see the positives. It’s just really hard when this disease gets the best of me ever so often, if it’s even the disease. Maybe I’m just someone who can never be pleased or happy.
@Soliel This disease can feel like a constant mental battle with yourself what you are feeling by saying maybe I’m just someone who can never be pleased or happy is just doubt it doesn’t mean it’s true or correct you most definitely are capable of it and even you reaching out for support is you trying to work on yourself to be happier
@Mcneelyc2183 Right but I’ve been trying my whole life so at some point u just feel insane for believing
@Soliel Happiness doesn’t come from changing things or yourself , it comes from being content with who you are and what you already have. It’s about recognizing the blessings around you and realizing how much others might wish for what you take for granted. True happiness is learning to want what you already have.
@hanysm@gmail.com I want this!!! How?!?
@Soliel Listen, there is no happiness in a pill type of thing. You have to work on yourself gently to change your mindset. Yes it is a " mind over matter" type of thing. Read the below, I hope it helps. ---- How to Find Gratitude and Contentment While Living With OCD Living with OCD often makes the mind focus on what’s missing, uncertain, or “wrong.” It can trick you into believing peace comes only after perfection or control. But real peace begins when you slowly shift attention from fear to thankfulness, recognizing what’s already good and steady in your life. Here’s a gentle path to help you cultivate gratitude and contentment step by step: 1. Start Small and Daily Gratitude isn’t about "feeling" thankful all the time, it’s about "noticing". Each morning or night, list three things that are present blessings. They can be as simple as: - “I had my morning coffee in peace.” - “I texted a friend who cares.” - “I’m breathing through another day, even with anxiety.” Keep these in a small notebook or phone note. Over time, these moments train your mind to shift away from obsession and toward observation. 2. Acknowledge Effort, Not Perfection OCD often ties your worth to flawless outcomes (“I must do everything just right”). Try rewiring that by saying: “I am grateful that I *tried my best*, even if it wasn’t perfect.” This approach reframes your experience from one of criticism to appreciation of effort, something you *can* control. 3. Notice the Ordinary Miracles Gratitude deepens when you slow down. Pay attention to daily experiences that your OCD brain rushes past, sunlight through the window, warmth of a shower, laughter of a loved one. These aren’t “filler moments”; they’re fragments of grace that make life livable. 4. Turn Comparison Into Appreciation OCD can magnify envy (“others seem happier or more in control”). Instead of comparing, practice "mirroring": “If someone else has something good, it shows that goodness exists and can reach me too.” This mindset builds contentment by transforming comparison into hope. 5. Practice Gratitude Toward Your Mind Though OCD is painful, your mind is also trying to "protect" you from harm, even if in exaggerated ways. Occasionally thank it: “I know you’re trying to help, mind. I’m learning to help us differently now.” That simple reframe introduces compassion into your inner dialogue. 6. Anchor Gratitude in Action Give back in a small way, message someone who’s struggling, hold the door open, or share something kind online. Gratitude grows stronger when it flows outward into kindness. 7. Accept That Gratitude Is a Practice, Not a Destination There will be days when gratitude feels hollow, when OCD overwhelms you. Don’t take those days as failures. They’re part of the process. Return gently the next day, even with one small thing you’re grateful for, like, “I made it through today.” OCD will always try to pull your attention toward uncertainty and threat, but gratitude reclaims that attention for peace. You don’t have to abolish anxiety to be content, you just have to keep noticing what’s still beautiful in the midst of it.
Wait a second, by sharing your feelings here, you’ve already done something deeply meaningful. You’ve reached people with OCD who thought they were completely alone in their pain, and your words remind them that someone understands. That makes you far from useless — it makes you a light for others in a dark moment. Please remember, the way you are isn’t broken or wrong, it’s human. You have a kind heart, a thoughtful mind, and the courage to express what many can’t put into words. Try to give yourself even a fraction of the compassion you so freely give others. You deserve love — especially your own.
@hanysm@gmail.com I don’t see it as a light as I’m not able to see that so I’m not sharing light here either just bringing others down & making them feel like there’s no hope if I’ve been struggling for years…. I know I’m not a bad person. I know I can do and be good for others but that’s not constant and it just feels like too much to keep up bc it’s so much work and sometimes I just forget cause I just want to breathe and live a normal life for a min.
@hanysm@gmail.com Also I’m pretty sure I’m just using this space as a compulsion but at this point I really would just like some input on how to stop so I can just do the shit I need to do
@Soliel Two things… First, by sharing your experience, you’ve already become a source of light. OCD feeds on making people feel isolated, as if they’re abnormal or losing their mind — but your openness breaks that illusion. When others read your words and recognize themselves in them, it helps pull them out of that same isolation. Second, remember that you don’t have to keep giving your kindness only to others — you deserve some of it too. Think of yourself as a lantern: without oil, even the brightest lantern can’t shine. The more care and love you give yourself, the more light you’ll have to share with the world.
@hanysm@gmail.com But how do I do that? How do I give myself kindness? It’s so strong right now I’m not able to give kindness to others either which is only increasing my hating myself of course….
@Soliel Try starting small: you don’t have to “feel” kind right away, just act as if you deserve a moment of rest. Maybe say to yourself, “I’m having a hard time right now, and that’s okay.” Sometimes giving yourself kindness starts with allowing yourself not to be kind perfectly. Even noticing that you wish you could be, that’s already a gentle form of kindness showing through. You don’t have to fix it all today. Just breathe, let the storm pass, and remember: wanting to be kind means the kindness is still there — it’s just hidden under the anxiety for now. 🌿
This is going to sound extremely silly but this works for me. Go up to your mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Say “I love you”. It’ll feel super corny and difficult, I cried the first few times. But do this every day. It takes two seconds. You don’t have to believe it, just do it. Every day.
@Vee92 Ty! I’ll do it!
I just want to thank everyone for being there for me yesterday! I’ve been struggling and I’m gonna try some of the suggestions here to see if they help. I have adhd and can’t seem to do anything right lately which is causing me to spiral 🌀 but I’m keeping my head high and determined to fight!!!
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