I’m scared my OCD is just being overly anxious 😢

@Anonymous we’ll get through this 😢

@nampretzels thank you so much 🙂

@Kayla Moon I’ll try my best to describe, but I’ve felt this way ever since I was like 8 years old and some things I would go through is like he unsure weather I should lock my bedroom door or not and my thought process was “if I lock the door then I have a lower chance of being murdered if an intruder comes in, but if I don’t lock the door and something happens no one can get to me” things like that every night, I have trouble picking out my socks and underwear every day because I feel like I have to coordinate it with whatever I’m doing the next day before I shower again, the texture also matters and the colors because I like to match them, sometimes I put a pair of socks on and they just “don’t feel right” so I take them off. when I was little I would go through the chewing thing a lot like chew something on my right but then have to do it on my left side of my mouth or else it wasn’t “even”, and I don’t suffer with this as much anymore but I thought i would mention it. something else was that I would almost gag when someone sneezed and I think that’s pretty normal but I would like picture the particles and bacteria flowing around the room and I’d feel the need to move. this kinda still happens today but yeah. also whenever I’m at someone’s house or even my own and someone cooking I can see the smoke from the pans and I feel the need to get away because I’m afraid of smelling like food and something that goes along with that is sometimes I would feel the need to throw up while or after eating something maybe that’s because of a smell but I’m not sure I never actually threw up when this happened but I felt like I was going to in the moment. sometimes after being out at the mall for example, I would come home and feel like physically feel my hands are dirty and have grime even tho they weren’t and I would wash them multiple times and still feel the “dirtiness” As for intrusive thoughts, I always think it’s either something harming me or me harming something and this will happen out of nowhere, but I will like picture in realistic detail a scene in my mind of the harmful thing happening and the disaster and discomfort with it. some other random things that can maybe be OCD but maybe not: I hate using capital letters when writing something or typing because it just doesn’t look right unless it gets autocorrected and I don’t notice I like to have all my stuff a certain color and way like I hate bright colors that look “dirty” in things like for example all of my school meterials are black and white with subtle pastels, my computer is also a grey color and my phone is white (I was horrified when my mom told me to pick out a cuter color) I hate seeing small clutter of things on the table like I’d rather it just have nothing on it and no single objects on it either if that makes sense. another thing is my clothes, I like a specific cotton material and I absolutely hate polyester in my clothing because I feel like I can feel the fibers by the touch. Another thing is showering. I’ve had so many problems with my showers like i would basically have a schedule of what time of the day i shower because of school, the gym and stuff, like i would do this thing where I’d shower in the morning only but then i would get upset because i would feel “dirty” at the end of the day but i also didnt allow myself 2 showers for multiple reasons. right now its gotten better because i have school from 7-12 so i shower when i get home because i walk so i get sweaty which is the perfect excuse and time for me to shower. there might be some things im missing but this is some of the stuff i experience for years now and it feels like im jailed. Sorry for the super long paragraphs as well 😓