Comparison OCD

Does anyone else suffer from comparison spirals? I recently visited a friend and our lives feel like they’re on different paths. I think our values are similar but the way we approach them is different. Anyway, I find myself wondering if what she’s doing is right and I’m doing is wrong. I’ve always been envious of other people since I was young and for the first time in a long time I’m feeling confident and stable in my own life and less envious of others. You’d think I would feel good about this but I’m just wondering if something is wrong with me and if I’m missing something. Any wisdom or insight? Without providing reassurance, of course.

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes, 100%, I get caught in comparison spirals. In fact, as I’m writing this, I realize I’ve been in one for the last few days. I often compare myself to others to reassure myself I’m doing something right, or to check if I did something wrong, or to check how I should approach or make decisions. It’s a compulsion that I’m doing to try to get rid of uncertainty, but it’s so fast it often feels automatic. I do my best to catch it when it happens and to embrace the uncertainty (ex: NER statements). I also find it helpful to lean into my values — for example, my values can help me distinguish what decisions *I* want to make (rather than what my OCD wants me to do). But I still have to embrace the uncertainty that I might be wrong. I’m still working on my mental compulsions (actually just got a workbook to help!) because they can be really sneaky, but bit by bit, I’m chipping away 🙂❤️

Audrey96

Date posted: 18h

@Hobbit Thank you for sharing! It’s so difficult to change something that feels automatic. I totally understand that. Do you have any favorite/go-to NER statements?

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@Audrey96 My go-to’s are basically saying the worse case scenario could happen — ex: “yep, I might be doing this all wrong” or “yes OCD, I might be making huge mistakes that I’ll regret for the rest of my life” etc. And then allowing the fear and getting on with whatever I’m doing. My brain often eventually goes back to comparison / problem solving / mental compulsions, and then I do NERs again. Never to get rid of the fear, but to try to accept it without compulsions. After a while my brain sees I’m not going to engage and the fears get less sticky. I imagine there are other tactics out there (that’s why I started the mental compulsions workbook) but this is what I’ve used so far.

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