Comes and goes versus constant

I think where I get most hung up is I hear people with ocd say it “comes and goes/ebbs and flows” but for me it’s constant, 24/7, in fluctuating intensity and that makes me feel like i’m “the exception”. I have a long history of ocd subsets, since childhood, but ROCD/SO-OCD are the stickiest themes I’ve ever experienced. I had 24/7 themes in the past that eventually passed or switched, but SO-OCD feels rock solid. I think it might be because ROCD and SO-OCD are more ambiguous subsets, as relationship and identity doubts are normalised in society and there are more gray areas, which gives ocd a field day and creates endless doubts. It’s also hard to escape triggers when you are actively in a relationship as it centres around that, but also females are a trigger for me, every female in any context, so I’m constantly activated. The threat is also really high as if they were true, I’d have no choice but to leave my relationship, which ocd wants, but I don’t want. It feels true and out of my control.

Alie:)

Date posted: Yesterday

I’m experiencing the same right now 24/7. It is the most challenging OCD ( mostly So ocd ) I’ve ever experienced. Women are triggers too and I keep doing compulsions and saying maybe that’s not ocd, maybe that’s true me. But I always come back to here or to a place where I feel stressed and sad which makes me know it’s ocd ( even if saying that is nourishing the loop ) .As you said, those themes are more abstract and are centered around identity, I think that when you already suffer from ocd ( other themes that might have passed more easily) the day you « get » those themes, they can even more latch onto you bc you already doubt about everything and that makes you unbalanced But that doesn’t mean they’re true

PurpleVelvet

Date posted: Yesterday

@Alie:) It’s nice to know I’m not alone, but I’m sorry to hear you are suffering, it’s horrible! This particular episode has been pretty much 24/7 constant for ages now, like 3.5 years 🥹. It showed up at the beginning of my relationship and feels “real” for that reason. I knew my boyfriend was invested from the start though and wasn’t playing games, and it tends to show once I know someone is interested, which I hear is common with ROCD. I could handle the ROCD on it’s own as you can keep choosing your partner, and change your mindset and perceptions on things, but with SO-OCD it’s so sticky and stubborn, as if it were actually true, I’d have no choice but to leave, as “you can’t choose/change your sexuality”, so it feels out of my control. The stakes are much higher with SO-OCD. ROCD and SO-OCD intertwine and pass ball to one another, but SO-OCD is always there and doesn’t fully fade and that’s the scary part and makes me scared that’s because it’s “the truth” and the length of time it’s been going on for is discouraging too and feels like “evidence. I hope with all my heart all of this is a product of OCD and overthinking, opposed to actually being a real problem. At this point, it feels like it’s who I am and I have to come to terms with it. I really you hope you get to a better place 🙏.

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