OK, so I need some validation...

I struggle with organization and routines and rules, perfectionism at its best. However, I have a hard time knowing if its OCD or if it is logical and I have a new intrusive thought that the other person is not taking me seriously because they know I am in treatment for my OCD. Just letting me be exposed by them just not following instructions. So am I though? That is my question for ya'll. I have an adult child, almost 19 years old who lives with me and my 7 other family members. I have been very patient in the transition of them taking over and being more independent. The common theme is that they dont feel good or they aren't sleeping or they dont know how.. or their executive function is malfunctioning. I am at a loss because they wont follow rules, they dont contribute to anything during the day. They just lay in bed and play Roblox or browse the internet. They sleep in until noon. I have a hard time when I have so many things that hinder on my energy level (fibromyalgia, Depression, anxiety) mostly Fibro and the main trigger is stress. I dont know what to do next. I have talked about them going into a group home where we can pay someone to do all the nagging and teaching of these things with a medical background that can help them with executive function development. For the sake of our relationship because I am their step mom. I am resentful and that freaks me out cause I dont have that unconditional bond with them like a biological mom does. I also didn't raise them. Ive only been around for 4 years ish.

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18h

I think it is perfectly reasonable to get frustrated if someone doesn't appear to be contributing in the household. I had and still have executive functioning issues which would annoy my parents at times, and I think I would have felt the same way in their shoes. It can get to a point where it feels like you are being taken advantage of or your words are not getting through to them. From their perspective, they may feel like they are being misunderstood and their problems are being minimized, but you might also feel the same way, and both experiences would be valid. Are you the only person responsible for your child? And do they have some kind of diagnosis/are they receiving professional help? If they are really struggling, it may be a good idea to enlist the help of mental health professionals (without necessarily needing to jump to something like a group home to begin with). Some people just need extra support to get the ball rolling or keep it rolling. There is also a possibility that they have some kind of underlying medical issue that is behind some of their behaviors, like hypothyroidism for instance, so that is worth ruling out.

Trikaratops

Date posted: 18h

they have been going to a psychiatrist and therapist and we have taken them to get their blood tested several times. They are anemic, However I have other children from the same mom that are anemic as well. I dont have the same issues with them. Understanding that every child is different of course. I am not the only parent. My husband is their biological dad. Ive tried just doing it for 30 mins, or starting with just one section of their room.. or and they wont even make their therapy appointments and when I do they miss them. So, I literally have to do every step to get them there and then actively nag at them to do any of the homework from therapy. its stressing me out. I know the group home seems harsh. I only say that because I have literally tried every strategy these past few years.

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