My honest thoughts

Hey everyone! Recently I tried nicotine gum for the first time and I got sick. Now I’m okay. I’m not taking it again. I feel the need to explain and confess to my dad about it. My OCD involves feeling the need to explain, clarify, or confess information. I feel the need to tell my dad that I did this and I temporarily discontinued one of my meds to feel the buzz more. But I’m actually getting back on the med and not taking nicotine again. Another thought I’m having is regarding romantic relationships and sex. I’m 25 and never experienced romance or sex before. It makes me feel sad that I’m missing out on it. But I notice I’m more at peace when I’m not around people in general. I often become triggered around people. Triggered in terms of OCD in social situations (interaction has to be done right and I have to be assertive), and triggered in terms of social anxiety and paranoia. I feel like people are watching me and judging me in public. Hopefully when I attend grad school this year I will feel more comfortable with older students who are more mature. I noticed I relate better and get along with adults more. I also had thoughts about nobody liking or replying to my last post and I see some people expressing the same sentiments sometimes. But I understand it’s not personal and it’s unlikely that there is anything wrong with me but it still hurts. It feels hurtful when nobody likes or replies to you. Some of my posts do while others don’t.

barbrnhr22

Date posted: 18h

I totally hear you. With the nobody replying thing, I just think that because everyone comes here to speak their mind and express what’s wrong that nobody ends up replying because everyone is sharing. It’s kinda up to us as a community to help each other, even if small! In regard to being triggered around other people, that was me for a little bit. I had an OCD obsession (still do a bit) with sex where I would look at anyone I passed by or was talking to and would obsess over trying to figure out how many people they’d slept with. It wasn’t like I’d ask, either, it was just trying to guess in my head. I was always insecure because I’ve only ever had sex with my girlfriend while others have had sex with at least a couple of people. I don’t know how long you’ve been suffering from this, but it genuinely passes with time. It’s completely normal to feel more comfortable being alone (I’m the same way!), but as far as OCD compulsions because of that, it can fade away with work and time. Furthermore about sex and relationships, don’t ever let what other people do make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone has their own pace. There’s no pattern to it. I’ve become content with the fact that some people can sleep with five people, get married, and divorce at some point. Some can only sleep with one, get married, and be with them the rest of their life, and vice versa with the last one. There is no real way of predicting it. Life just has its own way of working out! I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this, and I apologize for the long message. I hope it helped in some way, and if there is anything you ever need to vent about or discuss, I am always here :)

My honest thoughts

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