Fantasies about romance scenarios irl or fictional

I have a bf now, I dont fantasize about actual people or characters anymore and I dont have the urge to. However I still come up with a person who i think is attractive and put myself as the female protagonist of a not even sexual, romance fantasy. I love writing so maybe its because of that. I really crave validation through romantic gestures so maybe its a way to get that. I feel odd about doing it still with a bf even though it isnt a real person I dream about and not about sex at all. Maybe kissing as the omg they made it as a couple finally moment. I have ideas on how to fix this if it is something thay is wrong to do while in a relationship. 1. Maybe its just the urge to write, maybe I just need to write actual short or long stories of cute romance so I dont feel like I have to insert myself as a character or imagine it. 2. Maybe I do just want more romance and validation. He isnt the most romantic but we also are long distance so idk, I feel like he cant get me flowers in person but saying things like 'I would and I want to' would be nice or even giving me flowers in Minecraft would probably make me cry. So maybe I talk about it or try to initiate it more myself. 3. Maybe I am completely wrong for doing that even though there is no sex or actual want for it to happen in person and I should stop imagining me starting a romance or dating someone else made up or not. 4. I just imagine my bf instead. Lol us. Him instead of a random i made up. I ahve done that but I feel like it would cause a gap of liking the idea of him more than actually him and I dont ever want to cause that. Some things just aren't able to happen like space romance adventures lol or meeting for the first time in a cute way again but I could at least just use him as the male protagonist of my fantasies. Thoughts would be helpful!

sophea

Date posted: 16h

My girlfriend texted me " He’s so pretty augh" and a picture of an actor today, so maybe I just have different boundaries in my relationship, but I think the idea that people must lose all attraction to anyone other than their partner or else they're a cheater is absurd. A relationship is a choice you make everyday to prioritize another person; crushes are a physiological phenomenon we have no control over. But if you still feel nervous, you should definitely talk to your boyfriend. I can almost guarantee he's also passively thought other people are attractive while dating you—an actor in a movie or something—and he won't find this weird. Emotions are emotions; they don't control our behavior.

Starrie

Date posted: 14h

Yeah I agree, we have talked about that and agree that we do find other people attractive but on an objective level of thats just our opinion and we agree its not ok for that to go further into a sexual attraction or wanting to date them or comparing or wishing we had someone better, we just have passive thoughts and move on, he had an issue where a couple times he told me a video game ass was nice and I was uncomfortable so he stopped and assured me it was just his opinion because she never noticed as in a why is this animation thick yk, I just hope I'm not in the wrong for fantasies actually dating a different dude because he said before discussing attraction is fine because its opinions but discussing who we would date he didnt like the idea of

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