The guy I’m seeing changed hinge pictures

We’ve been seeing one another a little over a month so it’s early days, jusr had our second date where we booked somewhere for us to stay, however he’s jusr changed his hinge profile pictures. So this probably means he’s talking to other girls? Now this has really freaked me out like what do I do now? This man suffers from ocd, adhd and burnouts and has explained to me several times that if he disappears it’s nothing perosnal but now seeing that I feel slightly like it’s personal. I know I need to ask him what we’re working towards but I’m scared it’s gonna overstimulate him. I’m unsure what to do

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12h

I’m very sorry you’re suffering. I know exactly how that feels- the uncertainty, the anxiety, wondering if there will be heartbreak, etc. Your feelings of sadness are valid. For your peace of mind, it’s healthy to ask him if he’s seeing other women, so you know what situation you’re being involved in as well. It’s important to be able to make these informed decisions- especially when everyone dates differently: Some people date one at a time from the very beginning, whereas some date multiple people. Either is respectable, but you have to find someone who is the same as you. If you will continue to feel uncomfortable if he is dating others, then you are completely allowed to stop dating him and find someone who does share your value of dating one at a time. That way you’ll feel less down. Always remember that you have a choice. I truly hope everything works out for you :)

obsydian

Date posted: 12h

personally i changed my hinge pictures all the time bc i got self conscious of the ones i would have up for a long period of time 💀 i also have ocd/adhd and speaking from experience, it was very difficult trying to keep up with online dating 😵‍💫 it wouldn't hurt to ask if hes curious in seeing u, and if ur feeling it then ask if hes interested in a relationship after hanging out a couple times!

stuckonathought

Date posted: 11h

@obsydian The thing is I don’t wanna ask him thought this if they’re gonna overstimulate him and make him panick, he already has a lot on his plate and I don’t wanna give him a reason to freak out. But I also suffer from ocd so it’s making me freak out. It could mean nothing that he just changed it, but in the back of my mind all I think is great he’s talking to other woman now after spending the evening away together. He’s been so good at communicating with me that if he disappears it’s the ADHD and he doesn’t mean it personal so it’s nice to hear from someone else experiences with ADHD that this might also not make it personal and it’s just habit?

obsydian

Date posted: 10h

@stuckonathought i'd like to think it's just how he is, especially if he taking medication. on my own meds, i'll lose track of time for *hours* and that can still be the case even without em, so trying to keep up with conversations over text is quite difficult when the brain just wants to do one thing and it makes time pass in a blur 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i hope this doesn't come off as trying to use adhd as an excuse for his absence but more so as a possible explanation to quiet ur brain a little 💀

stuckonathought

Date posted: 9h

@obsydian No not at all, it’s actually helping me understand it better as this is exactly what he explained to me so knowing it’s something that happens to multiple people with ADHD makes me think it’s not just an excuse. He’s explained it to me twice now that when he disappears this is the reason yet with my ocd it’s so insanely difficult to convince myself of it, no matter how much reassurance I get. Which is a me issue that I’m gonna have to try and deal with while learning how to support him and not push too much. Just this hinge thing has seriously made me overthink and he’s probably sat there not realising he’s even done anything, and I’m now struggling to sleep

obsydian

Date posted: 9h

@stuckonathought that's so real tho 😭 the overthinking is all consuming so matter what bc ocd is just evil like that 💀 it's not just a u thing, in terms of ocd and online dating bc i also found that mine acted up too when i was on hinge. personally, i think u should broach the topic with him. if he gets spooked and overstimulated from someone wanting to date him when he's on the dating app wanting to date then that's not on u girl 💀

stuckonathought

Date posted: 9h

@obsydian You honestly make an amazing point, if I do bring it up and he doesn’t want anything then what am I waiting around for? Genuinely it’s so all consuming, I haven’t had a bloody downfall like this in ages so I’m insanely overwhelmed. Sorry I know this isn’t a dating advice app but since you understand ADHD better than I do I was wondering, does it matter when and how I ask? Since it’s only been 6 weeks and 2 dates dk I wait until the 3rd? Even though my overthinking is going crazy. And should I ask if he’s speaking to tower woman or do I ask it in a different way? Just never really met anyone who linked up with my personality and way of thinking as much as he does which sucks if this all goes south

Anna,hi!

Date posted: 10h

It is understandable that you do not want to overstimulate him, but at the same time it is important to protect yourself. You would not be doing anything wrong if you asked him if he is seeing more than one person at a time. Definitely it is understandable because people on on dating apps to meet people and see what happens. Also, it is understandable to want to keep is casual and date one person at a time.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 9h

@Anna,hi! Yeah you’re right and I keep telling myself that I need to do it for myself, if I have to ask him that’s a boundary I’m allowed but u just don’t want anything to change. I’m also like do I do it on the third date not after the second date (6 weeks talking but 2nd date as we’ve both busy people) so I’m like caught between 2 minds. I want to ask but don’t know how or when or where

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