It’s super late, I haven’t been able to fall asleep. I’ve had the same thought on loop for more than a month. It’s prevented me from working. I had this thought 10 years ago and now it’s back 24/7. I can’t focus I can’t have a serious conversation. My words get mixed up when I’m talking. Has anyone been through this? It’s scary. I’m taking medication.
Maybe not specifically this but I can relate to the words getting mixed up…. And that’s scary because you second guess yourself or think it means something. It’s just stress bc your nervous system is activated. Try to separate yourself from the thought, visualize it and accept it’s there but don’t interact with it. It doesn’t deserve your time. Don’t fight the thought, the more you fight with it the stronger and more frequent it will be. Stay strong.
For me, I've been stuck on the same OCD trigger for over 5 weeks now, and it still doesn't seem to be going away. It's nowhere near as bad as it was 2 weeks ago, but it's a bit sad to feel like this isn't going away as quickly as I was hoping it would (usually my OCD episodes last less than a week). The idea that I will still be stuck on this 2 months from now is rather annoying to me, tbh.
@Kevin V Ideas/thoughts are just that. Feelings are the same, they don’t hold any power unless you let them. You don’t know if that will be here 2 months from now, maybe it will…but maybe it won’t.
@dabbingpuggle That's the thing, I'm worried about the consequences of having an episode last for so long. It makes concerned about my future prospects in life. I had thought my OCD to just be a fleeting thing that occasionally annoys me, not something that ruin my life if I let it. And yet here I am now, feeling like my life has definitely turned for the worse, and that even if I manage to get past this, that I'll still look at this time in my life as "the ending of the golden days". It feels like a tragedy happening in slow motion. Oh well, I guess. Guess this is what I get for desiring control so badly. 🤷
@Kevin V I get this… so uncomfortably well. I occasionally have the thought that I was better before I knew it was OCD, back when I thought it was anxiety. Because the awareness of the condition almost highlights the trigger more and exasperates it. Everyone close to me tells me I’m better than I was, and it’s wild because I don’t always see that. It’s not what you get for wanting control, we all want control. Literally everyone on here wants that, it’s unrealistic. As far as consequences of a thought persisting…. The only consequence is that you learn to tolerate it and dismiss it. I was doing very well and then this time last year out of nowhere a new ocd theme appeared I never had before and it was self harm….it scared the shit out of me, it wrecked me for a month. Easily the worst month of my life, but I stayed in therapy, I asked for additional sessions. Fast forward to today, I had a harm thought 4 hours ago, dismissed it and went on with my evening. Wouldn’t have even thought about it again if not for using it as an example here. I promise you it gets better, the same way I don’t always see it in myself, you’re in it right now so it’s harder to see. Keep tolerating you have a bright future ahead.
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