Scrupulousity

Does anyone else feel like the opinions of other Christians matter wayyyy to much to you? My OCD says that if even one other Christian thinks my relationship/ what I’m doing in my life is a sin that God must agree with them and won’t forgive me. I struggle terribly with feeling like I’m not really saved or that I’m still “living in sin” I also get the thoughts like “well if my relationship is a sin I have to repent.” But how are you supposed to repent for loving someone? Also I wanted to ask if anyone else struggles to read their bible because it triggers intrusive thoughts and anxiety? It’s like I’ll read part of the bible and my brain will twist it into something other than what the verse really means. Like if there’s any way my brain could link it to me sinning it will. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to read my bible 😢 I love God and His word but it’s so scary sometimes.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

One thing that helps my anxiety with these things is going back to basics. John 15, John 10. And finding some really simple spiritual readings or music to listen to… return to the simplicity of God’s love. You are loved. You have to learn to “let yourself be loved”. God isn’t out to get you. I think it takes reordering the way you view Him and His love. His entire goal is to take care of YOU. He wants to make YOU feel loved. God is the perfect one, not us; He knows that. There’s a letter by a Saint, St Elizabeth of the Trinity, where the whole idea is to “let yourself be loved”. I forget if it’s a good read for scrupulosity, I’ll double check before 100% recommending you read it, but the whole idea is to sit with God and let Him love you FIRST. Also, those anxious thoughts, especially when reading the Bible, aren’t from the Lord! One of the fruits of the spirit is peace, trust in that. I have so many thoughts on this because I’ve had a lot of healing in it myself, if there was a DM feature on here I’d do it lol

Amy06

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymous Wow I really really appreciate this reply!!! I have been trying to just listen to my worship music when I feel anxious about it and it does help a lot, reminds me of His true character instead of the one my OCD pushed onto Him. I try to remind myself that if I could be perfect, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross for me. He knew I couldn’t be and gave His life for me so I could live. But even though I know these things in my heart, OCD can be so loud and very convincing. It’s a really hard thing to do, letting myself be loved. But I just have to remember that it’s not by works that we’re saved, but by His grace and by faith alone. I’ve been trying to discern if the thoughts are from Him and it was very hard at first but I think I’m getting a little better at it. And when my OCD tries to tell me God doesn’t want me to be with my fiancé I remind myself to look at his fruit. And my fiancé has all of the fruits of the spirit! Thank you so much for your comment, it was very very helpful.

dp4ever

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

I used to have similar thoughts about this especially reading the Bible and anxiety. It gets better. Just knowing that OCD is responsible for this has lifted a HUGE weight off my shoulders. It has nothing to do with our faith but an actual illness. Keep doing your exposures! 😉

Shdhdjdiie

Date posted: 10h

God doesn’t expect us to ever be perfect. When you’re baptized there’s no becoming “unsaved” you’re forever secure. I hope you’re able to find a more comfortable way to be able to receive the word.

Amy06

Date posted: 10h

@Shdhdjdiie I haven’t been baptized yet but I’m planning to be in the near future! I know there is no way to loose my salvation but my OCD still acts like there is 😔thank you for your comment I hope if I get exposure therapy I’ll be able to get into the word again

G C

Date posted: 12h

Relate to both

MK_23!

Date posted: 12h

Honestly, what helped me is saying uncertainty sentences and allowed myself to not know if I’m being a “proper christian” or not and it’s getting easier to keep my own opinions on things without losing relationships.

Anonymous2027

Date posted: 11h

I can definitely relate to everything you stated!!!

sebyyy111

Date posted: 11h

I totally 100% am there with you. It’s so frustrating that OCD does this to us but God would never want us to live like this. He does it so that we can come out of it stronger.

Cher54

Date posted: 6h

Yes I can surely relate as well! The intrusive thoughts while trying to pray, reading the same sentence over and over. It’s exhausting and so frustrating! Certain passages in the Bible used to scare me, thinking I had committed the unpardonable sin. That was awful! But Christians can’t commit that. U can’t lose your salvation if u are truly saved anyway. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit. Doubting your salvation if u know u have put your faith in Him is just Satan filling your mind with doubts. Just say I rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus. I doubt while I’m typing this out even! It’s a spiritual warfare that’s for sure!

Anonymous

Date posted: 46m

I went through a HUGE period of the same issue. What helped me was stopping going to church, stopping my Bible study and stopping reading the Bible. Which feels SO WRONG right? But it helped immensely, because it was my brain that was working in overdrive and doing religious thing was making it worse and work even harder. And it feels like stopping is the wrong choice. Everyone at church attacked me for it because they didn’t understand. I kept focusing on that Jesus loves me and I love Him and I will return to “practicing” (never stopped but you know what I mean) when my brain wasn’t freaking out! I eventually was able to crawl out of all of it and I’m ready to start going to church again and Bible study! My faith never ever stopped but I had to take a step back from practicing because of the way my brain was wired.

Amy06

Date posted: 21m

@Anonymous That makes so much sense! The people at church wouldn’t understand but Jesus definitely did! It was the right thing to do for your faith to take a step back and breath before trying again! I considered doing that, but luckily my church hasn’t triggered my scrupulousity. They teach the word in a way that isn’t as scary as reading it alone and letting my OCD grab onto every verse. I know Jesus would understand even the people who are too scared to go back to church at all. He knows our hearts and He knows we love him and He knows we have OCD. I’m so glad that you felt ready to go back to church and read your bible!! Your faith is something to look up to! ❤️

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond