Looking for encouragement

Hi everyone. This is my first post here (well and social media in general) and I’m hoping to connect with others who might understand. I have contamination OCD. At its worst, I felt like I had to sanitize or wash my hands between touching everything. I was constantly trying to trace contamination and would doubt the state of things—even doubting my own memories of what I had or hadn’t touched. Questioning whether other people touched it. All that fun stuff. It became extremely debilitating. To cope, I ended up creating “safety zones”—areas that only I control and touch. I don’t let outside things enter those zones. In some ways it helped because it reduced the constant handwashing and sanitizing, and it allowed me to keep functioning. But at the same time, I realize it’s really just another workaround. I recently joined NOCD, and my therapist and I have been talking about how to start working on this without overwhelming me. The hard part is that these safety zones have been keeping me functional for about three years now, and the thought of even a tiny breach feels terrifying. My brain immediately jumps to the contamination spreading into everything, and it feels suffocating. If I’m being honest, I can’t always tell whether I’m more afraid of the contamination itself or of letting go of the system that has made me feel safe. Part of me is scared that if I try to change things, everything will fall apart. But another part of me knows the opposite could also be true—that breaking down these zones might actually be freeing and help me function more normally. Even though I’ve made progress, I’m really tired of the mental and physical toll this has taken on me. I want to get better. Sometimes the fear just makes it feel like my hands are tied—though maybe that’s just the OCD talking. I know this is long, so thank you if you read it. I guess I’m mostly looking for encouragement. With the system I created, it doesn’t always feel like a gradual approach is possible. If anyone has dealt with something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience or any advice.