Advice: SOOCD, ROCD & Sexual Attraction

Hi! I’ve been suffering for SOOCD/ROCD for 4 years. I have done ERP, currently trying ICBT- but I have a very sticky obsession that I’m not sure how to “not care about” anymore or brush off without needing to know. Sexual attraction. OCD latches on to that theme because I was always very romantically driven- never had that urge to rip someone’s clothes off, but sex feels nice with my partner once we figured out what we like (took years). Anyways, of course my fears are saying I am not sexually attracted to him or men but I must be sexually attracted to women because of (corn). Before OCD, none of that bothered me (maybe a what’s wrong with me here or there) but now I’m convinced it means my relationship with my bf has to end and I need to go sleep with girls. I spend all day and night looking into this concept. It’s been an ongoing for a couple months now, which for me usually I get a break in between- but it’s constant and I always end up googling, ruminating in my head if I don’t research, and hyperanalyzing everything it feels automatic. HOW do I stop? What advice can you guys give me? Please help.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I’m dealing with the same exact thing and wish I had a solution to share.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I’m so sorry, at least you know your not alone in this!

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

When you say corn, do you mean you watched same sex 🌽? Because I did that too when i was younger for a long time, and some of my straight friends did as well. If yes, I can talk you through some of what I’ve done to help w my SOOCD and ROCD because this has definitely been my worst trigger since it feels like actual evidence! You’re not alone.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@LV4523 Yes! I know it’s pretty normal for straight women. I also never got ahem *aroused* (I’m so sorry) by looking at men’s bodies, even though I love looking at men and I love kissing and being close to men! But it’s like you said it feels like actual evidence. Would love to hear how you’ve worked through some of those fears.

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous Yes it’s very scary! And sometimes I still get really stressed out about the fact that I watched all of that for so long. You just have to accept that it was apart of your journey and that it may or may not mean something deeper about you. My therapist told me to think about it as a way I explored my sexuality, and yet I still always chose / wanted to be with men and my current boyfriend. So that’s all it is, exploration. I have thought about this sooo much and have never gotten anywhere. The only thing you can do is to accept that you got / get aroused by same sex corn. It’s truly okay and does not mean you deep down want to be with women. For me, certain actions turn me on more than others (if I’m watching corn) and most are about things being done to the woman lol (so sorry for the tmi!) which is probably why I turned to same sex stuff. But I don’t know and never truly will. Practicing full and true self acceptance and forgiveness of who you are and everything you have done will help you get through this!!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 18h

@LV4523 Thank you for your kind words! What do you find is the best strategy for you to not ruminate over this stuff? Or actions that have helped you in your recovery? I often find I’m kind of always looking to obsess over this and it feels “less intrusive” now and more like part of my daily life

Misaaraii

Date posted: 20h

this sort of went away for me recently. But i was scared to death for a while. I accepted maybe i’m a lil Bi. It’s ok. I know i’m still a loyal person and wouldn’t cheat or anything on my bf so even if i’m bi, I’m with and loyal to my bf so I don’t have to worry about maybe being a little attracted to the same sex

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@Misaaraii Makes sense, I’m glad you found a way through that fear. That thought still scares me too! Ugh feel like I can’t win!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond