[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 29d
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 29d
I dont know, its been so unbearably hopeless that I just dont know.... The things ive done when i was 12-14 are too terrible and real event and false memory are too unbearable to handle for me
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 29d
@oklol I just know how others will react, i just know they will be bad reactions and these things were genuinely immoral and disgusting. I am in therapy but my mental state has gotten so bad that I've been referred to a psychiatrist but im still waiting and it feels like eternity waiting, its been quite long and I haven't heard back from them. Thank you for the support!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 29d
@oklol They are definitely immoral to others, theres no question about it, im sorry i dont want to share exactly what they are. Thank you for the wishes! Im still waiting for the psychiatrist but i have to be patient
MonkeyManiacMonkeyManiac
- Date posted
- 29d
@Anonymous You cant judge your 12-14 year old self the same way you would if you had done these mistakes a week ago. At that age, your brain is literally not fully there. Your frontal cortex is not developed enough to actually link actions with consequences, which leads up to doing really stupid things. That, combined with the start of puberty and sexual discovery which leads you to sometimes doing/watching things that you would never, in a million years, do today. Thats just part of growing up, as awful as those memories might be today. But no matter what you may have done, knowing that you would never do these things today is whats valuable and what matters. Please go easy on yourself 🫂
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 29d
@MonkeyManiac Thank you so much for your reply 😊 its honestly shocking that it was ME that did/watched those things. It honestly feels like another person did these things because I would never do this again and the thought of it makes me want to throw up. Thank you so much for your reply 😊😊
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 29d
@oklol You too! Thank you so much for hearing me out and taking the time to reply 😊
troytalitroytali
- Date posted
- 24d
I have had OCD, anxiety, depression, likely CPTSD (the only one, thus far, not "officially" diagnosed) all of life that I can recall. Much, if not all, of this stuff started from a childhood trauma event from a relative. From then on it's quite the list of traumatic events, right up to this very time. I have availed myself of many resources (an actual person therapist, who unfortunately passed away not so long ago), books, NOCD, other therapists with online resources (like Nathan Petersen, Paige Pradko, Natasha Daniels...to name a few). What I'm reaching out for here is that just a month ago now my wife's mom passed away. We are all (my parents and hers, and her brother) are all VERY close knit. This was a huge blow, and it has crazy intensified the already mysterious and severe uptick of all of this mental disorder group. I daily work on ERP any way I can, but wow. I'm in another burnout time, I think, seems clear. It has become pretty bad, very intrusive, attacking areas it did not in years before (I'm 56 now), and more days that are severe. This is despite my learning and work on all this each day. It is...overwhelming. Exhausting. It's either worse than ever since learning more about OCD, the most recent to be diagnosed (yes, never did understand it before just a few years ago!), or just different in some ways. All the resources are great, and some family has noted improvements that I'm having trouble seeing. To me, each day now, I feel like I don't know how I'm going to get through each day. By the grace of GOD, I do, but wow...almost nothing feels right, constant nagging from OCD and the rest. I'm exhausted. I don't know what else to do when it all spikes fast and hard, sometimes mental shutdown and paralyzing spikes. I don't know why it has become so loud, so constant, automatic.
troytalitroytali
- Date posted
- 17d
@oklol - My wife and my parents have been noting where they see progress. I am really glad they do this. I need to know SOMEthing is working.
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