Others Understanding of OCD

I feel like my wife doesn’t understand my OCD which is about control, checking and just right. A situation came up where this became clear to me. She asked if I could take care of something but then said she would do it if it gave me too much anxiety. That’s when I knew she didn’t understand my struggles and anything I’ve ever described with treatment and the daily struggles. Afterwards I said doing the item which could cause me great anxiety and NOT following up on it many times a day or not being obsessive about it was the exposure. I don’t think it sunk in and I often feel very lonely on my journey bc of people’s lack of understanding or their failure to attempt to understand what it truly is.

j vv

Date posted: 15h

Hi Jarrod2750 👋 thank you for sharing your struggle here! OCD can feel so lonely—it is a niche mental health condition that often feels counterintuitive to treat, making it difficult for loved ones to understand. Talk with your therapist about setting up an appointment where you have a joint session with your partner. She likely wants to support but does not know how, and is unfamiliar with all of your symptoms and current struggles. Remember, you are up-to-date, and your partner needs clear communication to “catch up” to where you are. If you have an OCD goal and need support in a specific way, it may be a good idea to set up one day a week where you talk about where you are at and what support you would like to see for the coming week. That being said: having your spouse do tasks for you could become a form of avoidance. Make sure you are actively working towards becoming functional at the task. If temporary help is needed, structure it with your therapist so that you and your wife are actively working towards a transition where you do the task without help. You can do this! You are stronger than your OCD 💪

Jarrod2750

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

@j vv Thanks for the reply. I’m definitely not asking anyone to do anything for me bc it is definitely avoidance. That is something I learned early on. It is more so others misunderstanding of what OCD is. Social media hasn’t helped and created a stereotype that if you have ocd it means you’re a neat freak. I never avoid a situation it’s just others offer avoidance and think that is the solution. Frustrating indeed

j vv

Date posted: 6h

@Jarrod2750 It is frustrating! What makes it worse for me (aside from feeling a bit like an alien around others) is that I actually do have contamination OCD 😂 so when they say “oh, like being a neat freak?” I say “well, yes…but also having random visions of loved ones being attacked, irrational fears of harm, etc.” I totally get where you are coming from—after many hours of therapy and learning more for myself, it is very hard to explain the ins-and-outs to others in a succinct way. How do you express years of suffering and breakthroughs, do’s-and-dont’s to someone in just a minute or two? The hardest part about working with loved ones is telling them that sometimes, doing nothing IS the best way to support. It is wildly counterintuitive and the loved one is always so confused.

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