ERP and therapy isnt working for me. I guess this means I don't have OCD and that I have to die.

you don't have POCD so yeah

@Vimli You just said it yourself - you have POCD So you DO have ocd!!

@uwotm8 Yeah but at what cost. People will still think I'm a pedophile and knowing I have it doesnt make me hate myself less. Also I don't 100% know if I have POCD or not. What if my therapist made a mistake, what if I'm some rare POCD pedo hybrid? It's not impossible to me. So I just sit here miserable and crying again for the 40 billionth time

@Vimli What if What if What if It’s ocd. I promise you your therapist hasn’t made a mistake. I don’t have this theme so I can see it clearly is ocd taking the drivers seat and it’s horrible to see. You’re not a bad person. Bad people don’t care if they’re bad but you clearly are distressed. That’s part of ocd

@uwotm8 would you say that to me knowing every single disgusting and creepy thing OCD has made me do?

@Vimli I’m sorry to hear that you feel this way. Please understand that you can’t have POCD and be a pedophile at the same time.

@Catlady But what if I can? Where's the evidence saying you can't

@Vimli OCD only uses things against you. Straight people with OCD worry that they’re gay but never that they’re straight and vice versa. It just can’t happen.

@Vimli What do you think you’ve done that’s creepy?

@Vimli Everyone with OCD feels that.maybe their therapists are making a mistake. You most likely have OCD. Sorry if this is reassurance. You may just have to switch up ur exercises and focus even harder on not seeking reassurance and ERP

@advocate109 I feel that way all the time it’s just my theme is different Same beast different manifestation

@uwotm8 I've compulsively eye-balled and stared at minors to try and find out if I'm really attracted. Sometimes I look at their crotch areas which makes me feel so horrible that it makes me want to die. I've masturbated trying to think about horrible sexual acts to see if I can get aroused and I've had an orgasm twice. I had and sometimes still have this compulsion where I picture sexually suggestive stuff with minors to see if I get aroused or if I like it (and before it was sexually suggestive it was full on the grosest fucking thoughts imaginable). Everything I've done spells disgusting creep for me. It makes me feel so horrible. Like there is no way in hell any normal person will sympathize with me if they knew about these things. So I'm just at my lowest and I know for a fact that I'll never be able to recover from this.

@Vimli That’s literally all ocd - you feel so terrible about it it’s ruining your life, real criminals don’t feel bad about it they enjoy it

@uwotm8 It's so fucked up how powerful OCD and fear is........Like the friends I have that know about all of this cannot believe I'm going through it. Do you think I'll be understood? Do you think I'll be allowed to be a human being just like everyone else despite all of that.

@Vimli Absolutely. I promise you everything you just described is compulsions!! You feel so bad about your thoughts it’s taken over, but the important part to remember is, you’re NOT your thoughts and if you truly were a bad person you’d just be going out acting badly and not giving a single fuck - you clearly have a conscience and your ocd is attacking your values It truly is powerful. It’s convinced me that I’m riddled with STDs despite not ever being diagnosed and I also have tangliblw proof in the form of negative results. And I STILL believe ocd

@Vimli Of course btw!! Talk to your therapist and don’t give up on Erp. I get disheartened too but I have no choice. Lots of people have the same issue as you do you’re not alone

@uwotm8 I hope you get better. I genuinely mean it. You're one of the only people here that hasnt accused me of being a pedophile after I've shared all of that

@Vimli Don’t ever do anything stupid and hurt yourself please

@uwotm8 I won't. I promise.

@Vimli Good!! Thankyou x Also remember your therapist knows better than people online

@uwotm8 They said the same thing you did about my compulsions, so...

@Vimli Who did, the therapist?

@uwotm8 Yes

@Vimli Then as hard as it is, you need to do your best to believe your therapist over your ocd xx

This post is old. I am fine and I'm not going to do anything to myself. I have stated this numerous times but no one listens and everyone reports me instead.

I'm not getting any e-mail and my life isn't in danger. I'm doing better. Please remove the flags off my posts.