Can anyone relate to this?

I’m 18. And sometimes I see people who are 18 too but they look really young. And it’s not like that I doubt they’re 18 I just don’t want to be attracted to them because they’re 18. I saw this girls profile and she was doing the oceans eyes template where you basically show your eyes to a tranquil piece of music. When I was watching it I told myself, “She looks too young.” But I kept watching to see her do the ocean eyes and then I said, “No!” And looked away. But I felt I was attracted to her. But she looked so young. So I feel I shouldn’t. There’s times where I look at girls at my school and I think I’m attracted to them but then I think they look too young. And then there’s people who look old but are actually like 16 or 17. And then there’s times I’m confused and I don’t know if I’m attracted to maturity or immaturity. It concerns me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14h

I’ve been there, the ocd is trying to make you doubt yourself. It’s ok to find people attractive, they look young cause 18 is young and if they’re 16 or 17 that’s ok too you’re 18 not 50 your anxiety about it is just making you feel bad and guilty. It’s not like you want to date a minor. Finding someone attractive is not the same as pursuing, the meer fact you’re so anxious about it means you’re not gonna be a closet creep. I promise. I’ve been there.

SAGUI

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymous Thank you for the support. But I do think sometimes I do look at someone who 16 and I do want to date them. At least back in high school. But I wouldn’t go below 16. I wouldn’t date someone who’s 16. Like I wouldn’t try to date someone who is 16 but I would be attracted to them. I also wouldn’t think sexual thoughts about them or imagine kissing them. That’s kinda my mentality. I’m not sure if that makes me a pedophile. Like, I wouldn’t want try to date someone that age. The reason I’m saying this is because I was watching a movie and a series where the actress was 16 and I was attracted to her but then not and I kept telling myself that they must’ve been older and then I looked it up and found they were 16 and then I was like, “Yeah, they’re pretty.” And I stopped feeling attraction. Like, I’ve seen a sophomore when I was senior that I was attracted to. And I was attracted to her because of how mature she looked not because of her youth and when I found out she was a sophomore I tried avoiding her but there were dreams and thoughts that came.

Anonymous

Date posted: 9h

@SAGUI You’re definitely in a ocd loop, finding someone attractive doesn’t make you a creep. You’re young and look even when you hit 20 you still might see a girl who’s cute and she might be 16 but maybe you won’t know until you ask and like you said you immediately avoid it and you’re having dream about her cause of anxiety. Thoughts are just thoughts and we can chose which ones we listen to, granted with much practice. Your ocd knows your fear and it prays on you with it. I also struggle with those types of thoughts but I’m much older now so I’ve been dealing with it for years. It does get better but you need professional help. Trust me it doesn’t just get better randomly, you need tools to help navigate and sometimes medication can do wonders. It’s scary but you can always find help if you look for it.

PerfectlyParis

Date posted: 14h

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through that. I know exactly what you mean and experience this myself lol.

SAGUI

Date posted: 11h

@PerfectlyParis Thank you.

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