sanziday

Date posted: 5y

I feel kind of good after talking to some of the members on this app but for some reason my brain keeps telling me "I'm not having any HOCD and just in denial" or "you're not the same as them and you're gay" and it just makes me feel bad over and over again. It's making me sad that I AM somebody I don't want to be and I'm just talking to other people for nothing.. and maybe I'm just forcing myself to be straight... I really don't want to feel all of this

Kaitlynr

Date posted: 5y

It ends eventually with treatment, I promise. I had severe HOCD for five years.

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

I sure hope it does

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Exactly the same as you it’s frustrating and exhausting I just want to get better

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

I don't want to spend my life with another women everyone I think of something like it, my head hurts and makes me so stressed

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

Even just writing down the comment was stressful and makes me breath harder with anxiety and guilt

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanziday I’m just exhausted and numb

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

@cloudqueen Same except the "numb" feeling. Everytime I think about a girl in that way or read about how lesbian realize they were gay and I wonder "what if I became gay too" pierces me like a fucking needle and makes be exhausted and sad for the whole day

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

@cloudqueen I really feel like maybe we should talk about something good and normal instead of our struggles since i think it's exhausting both if us

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanziday Same I’m doing alright now like for the past thirty mins but it’s an emotional rilller coaster

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

@cloudqueen Yep. So how was your day?? I hope it was great

advocate109

Date posted: 5y

Well try not to use similar symptom as a form of reassurance

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

It's so hard to stop but I'm trying little by little

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

I just took an ERP session that the app offers and I'm really distressed right now, any advice?

mimimatt

Date posted: 5y

@sanziday Erp is going to be distressing, I mean you are facing the fear head on! But the more times you do it soon you will not be so afraid. Trust me as an hocd sufferer who has felt EVERY thing someone has posted about hocd on here, after erp I am healed. It was hard and difficult but it gave me my life back because hocd was one of the most difficult subtypes I’ve gone through.

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

@mimimattaliano Thank you so much for this bit of advice I did two sessions of ERP today and I'll not lie I kind of feel better though not everything's great

mimimatt

Date posted: 5y

@sanziday You are extremely strong for starting erp

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I’m like this when I get worked up over worrying I have STDs I post here constantly but never feel like I can take the reassurance because o always get the “what if they’re wrong? What if it’s not ocd? What if I really have reason to worry?” Different themes, same formula. But I get it, cuz I can’t stop believing my fears either

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

It is quite hard I imagine for you but you just can't help it it's feels soo real

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@sanziday My ocd literally finds ways to disprove actual facts, I feel like I’m permanently broken

sanziday

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 I feel the same but with HOCD. Feels like a roller coaster that never ends and you're traped and can't get out

Kaitlynr

Date posted: 5y

You just have to focus on the OCD, not the anxieties. I imagine OCD as a boggart that changes shape depending on what I fear at the time... But at the end of the day, its just a simple boggart, conjure a happy/funny memory and force it away. :)

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