Ughfh :,)

I’m always sitting with the thoughts that I sounded weird or people didn’t understand what I was trying to say and they felt bad for me so they just said “okay” to stop the conversation. It’s hard when these thoughts come up because it feels never ending, and it’s important to remind yourself that you aren’t alone with it and that most people don’t pay attention to those things like we do and it’s okay to have fear but to let the fear push you through the experience rather than hold you back. Take it day by day, minute by minute. Progress isn’t linear and you can do hard things!

Ive had this for the longest time, I act not myself a lot of times just so people will like me. I say stupid things and act like someone I’m not because I don’t want to show my real self, only for people to end up hating my fake self and then when I come home after socialising I ruminate all day thinking “I’m so dumb why did I act like that? why did they react like that? Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Was what I said offensive? Etc.” I’m currently trying to come to terms with the fact that in a world where people hate all the time whoever you are I might aswell be happy with who I am and act in a way I’m happy to act. That means acting as crazy, as weird and as annoying as I am cause someone will always not like you. Honestly ive noticed that caring so much all the time makes other people notice a lot more than being yourself, people can sense when you’re always overthinking either about yourself and what you’re doing in a certain moment which is a lot more off putting than being you and doing you. What I want to say is when you’re in a social setting dont focus so much on if other people accept you or find you weird for what you’re doing, focus on your wants and your needs stop thinking so much about everyone else, because you’re opinion is a lot more important than everyone else’s because at the end of the day the one person you’re going to be stuck for life with is yourself and no one else can have that role.