Why am I so convinced I’m an abuser

Tw!vent sa Ive spent the past two years!! convinced i committed CoCSA. I’ve done everything I’ve talked to 2 professionals who both told me it wasn’t cocsa. I’ve talked to the person who told me it was fine and he wasn’t hurt and yet I keep obsessing that either committed abuse or I had problemic behavior based off a few words in a follow up email (boundary crossing and inappropriate) even through the email also said I wasn’t bad person, it wasn’t abuse and I may overreacting. I genuinely can’t stop checking and I don’t know what to do. I’m have an appointment with a therapist in april but idk if I can wait that long. I’ve been sitting here crying for over 3 hours and now I’m not going to get my math homework Done and it needed to be done like yesterday. I just feel so hopeless.

serimarie

Date posted: 14h

Because it's scary to you. My OCD is convincing me that I am things that I don't want to be as well.... If I didn't care...it wouldn't bother me.

bruner12

Date posted: 13h

@serimarie I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing. This is really hard

Persephone_k

Date posted: 12h

Honestly, it’s one of the worst things about ocd, I keep feeling convinced ive sa’d someone and forgotten about it, to the point i scan every detail in my lifes past memories and everything just so I’m sure it hasn’t happened. I know ive never done something like this but my brain keeps trying to convince me i have it’s making me go crazy. I think the most important thing is just while you’re thinking about it let the thought sit there and tell yourself it isn’t true, dont true to push away the thought or get rid of it just leave it in your head and tell yourself once or twice it isn’t true and then just let it sit. We’re human beings we think about things doesn’t mean that the things we think about our true though. Let the thought sit, dont obsess over it or try to make yourself be 100% sure it didn’t happen cause that just doesn’t work with ocd. Let the thought exist it CANT hurt you and won’t hurt you and most importantly IT ISNT TRUE. Just know you aren’t alone and there’s a hundred other people on this app going through exactly what you’re going through, and another handful of people that have gotten over this type of thing, you will too. <3

bruner12

Date posted: 12h

@Persephone_k Thank you so so much. I’m trying to not obsess but SA is so serious it’s hard to just shrug and let it go you know? I’m really sorry you’re also going through this

Persephone_k

Date posted: 11h

@bruner12 It is so hard honestly. But the reason it’s so hard to let it go is because we know it’s something that serious and thats why our brain clings on to it so much. But to be honest thats in a way reassuring, because for it to be that serious to us means it’s something we would never do. People that actually do these actions dont care if they’re that serious they do them because they don’t think about them or think about the seriousness of them. And I think thats enough to put our brain at ease, if we were those type of people we wouldnt find doing something like that this terrible.

bruner12

Date posted: 11h

@Persephone_k that’s super helpful thank you ❤️❤️

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