Difficulty deciding when buying things

One of the things that OCD makes difficult for me is buying things, particularly expensive things or things I'll have to use a lot, like sneakers. I have bad knees but like to run, so I want to buy sneakers that will be comfortable. I found myself going to 3 different store over the course of 2 days, trying on bunches of pairs, testing them out for a couple hours, and still feeling overwhelmed when deciding. I did purchase a pair but still unsure how I feel about them and debating returning them and going to another store to get another opinion/other options. It's exhausting and I just want to accept the shoes I bought. I don't want it to be a whole task. I am going to work on practicing NERs, just having a hard time with it right now. Just curious if anyone can relate so I feel less alone in this and if anyone has suggestions of what works for them? Thanks ❤️

777Q

Date posted: Yesterday

Personally I can relate . I would set a time limit like 90 minutes of online research checking reviews, quality, price and knee and joint concerns in relation to the footwear . In that approximate price point which is probably 75.00 to 175.00 that is what I would do personally.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

A time limit is a great idea! Thanks for the suggestion!

macarena3412

Date posted: Yesterday

1)what are ners? 2)this one right here is a daily struggle, my psychiatrist believe that I couldn’t buy stuff but here we are! :( I hate having to buy things unless I absolutely need it or love it, I can’t make impulsive purchases bc I grew up being told I was expensive, I bought some sweats but really wanted to return it but also really wanted to keep it. I’ve already been to the same stupid store 4 times in the past 2 stupid days. I’m wasting so much gas, that’s more money I could’ve saved, tax day is coming up, ugh. I wanted a second opinion but I’m gonna just try to just live with the decisions I made instead my brain fighting its own self🤦

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

I feel this exactly. I think that's the best thing we can do, is just live with our decisions. We always second guess ourselves if we made the right decision or if there was something better out there. Sometimes i try to tell myself "if I went with the best option out there, I still wouldn't know if the one I chose was really the best" as in the one i already purchased. So it kind of validates that maybe my purchase was fine after all. NERs are Non-engagement responses. Its a way to respond to OCD without arguing. So when I have an intrusive thought/obsessive thought, i say "that makes me uncomfortable. That would really suck if i end up not liking these shoes. Theres no way of knowing if there was a better shoe out there" so it kind of makes you acknowledge the discomfort and sit in it until the discomfort is less intense.

iltxb3

Date posted: Yesterday

I’m the Same way to the point where I just end up not even buying it or if I do I keep the boxes “just in case” I decide to return it 🤦 it’s like I have a fear something better will come up and I made the wrong decision. Why does it have to be a whole thing?? I have to research almost every item I buy to make sure it’s the best. The timeline definitely helps me and reminding myself “literally it’s just an item and it’s not. That. Deep. It’s a material item and can be replaced if desperately needed” and just reminding myself there’s no way of knowing if i made the “wrong” decision bc that reality doesnt exist. Only this one does! But still, having to remind myself of those things makes me feel so dumb over something like a pair of shoes

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

I really appreciatebyou sharing how you can relate. Im the same way! I either dont buy it at all or keep the box and receipt, not using it, just in case i want to return it. I like the way you think/phrased that second paragraph. The grass is always greener on the other side, but if we chose that other grass, we wouldn't know if the original shoes we chose were also "greener." That reality doesnt exist. Only this one does. I think that helps a lot! And i also feel so dumb/crazy that it takes me this long to decide. Its embarrassing and makes me feel so anxious. I hope we can all be kinder to ourselves since we are doing our best!

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