Work/being fired

Anyone else obsess about their boss not liking them/being annoyed by you? I’ve been a medical assistant at my current job for about 9 months. In that time, my boss has unfortunately seen my anxiety/OCD in action. I ask her often if she’s mad at me or if I’m going to be fired. And when I don’t ask, I just cannot stop thinking about it and worrying over it. I know that I should not ask or bother her about it. But the way she responds to me is very short and dry. So she always seems to be annoyed at me. Am I probably just overthinking? I really love my job and my coworkers and patients. But I can’t stop obsessing over my boss liking me or not.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

Understandable, I’ve had OCD show up at work in front of my boss. Definitely recommend ERP and doing exposures or scripts (worst case scenario). Mine got bad that medicine has made life a little easier to navigate with ocd…just an additional thought!

OCDisAwful1204

Date posted: 12h

@Anonymous I’m on clomipramine which has absolutely changed my life!! But for some reason THIS obsession is just one that won’t go away. I want to text her and ask her if she’s mad at me. But I know that that’s totally unprofessional and I’m sure I’ve asked her that enough. So instead I just have to sit here with the anxiety. Which I know is just part of OCD. But geez… this is annoying and very anxiety inducing.

Soliel

Date posted: 12h

I say the best way to handle this is to go on about your day at your job with the thoughts maybe you annoy her maybe you don’t. Either way is really okay anyways but your ocd is making it worse than it really is. Who cares if she doesn’t like you. Do your job well, have a good attitude, hold your head up high because you do so and they’ll love u for that even if they don’t love u love u. I mean we don’t love everyone right, that’s ok… I know there’s ppl I just don’t mesh well with for whatever reason and well it bothers me but it’s life and I’m ok with it now. One reason is bc I remind myself we r all human & do I even like them?! 🤣jk but really sometimes… NOW I can dish it but I can’t take it bc I currently won’t even look my boss in the eye or hardly talk to her bc well I just KNOW she doesn’t like me right?! 🤣 or that’s what my ocd thought! But screw it, I looked at her and smiled the other day! AFTER she gave me critical advice!!! Although I spiraled after I think I grew a little and I did finish my day even upset and it dissipated some. I did bawl later and I have a migraine today bc of it but I went to work today too and did a dang good job if u ask me! So I’ve decided just now I’m gonna try to take me advice and do the same!

OCDisAwful1204

Date posted: 12h

@Soliel Thank you! 🫶🏼 I will try to just continue on without it absolutely eating me alive. I know I do my job well, im not sure why her approval matters so much to me. I guess because she has the ability to fire me whenever she wants, for whatever she wants. My state is an “at will” state and they can fire you for practically no reason at all. And I’m worried that if I get fired, nobody else will ever hire me bc they’ll see that I’ve been fired before.

SirSalt

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12h

I 100% can relate to this, anytime my supervisors are short with me im like “did i do something wrong?” “Do they not like me for some unknown reason??” “did my ocd just ruin my career?!?” and on and on. Ive turned into ERP by just saying “well see” to myself and then fighting for my life mentally lol but it gets easier but the change isnt overnight. I just have to Accept sometimes i cant know or fix every reason my employer is upset.

OCDisAwful1204

Date posted: 12h

@SirSalt Yes it’s sooo uncomfortable to sit with. But I’m gonna keep powering through. I’ve gotten through several OCD themes in the past few years. They all feel heavy. But when you’re in the middle of it, it feels like it’s impossible to conquer. Here I’ll be.. worrying and wondering lol. I hope eventually I won’t care so much.

SirSalt

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

@OCDisAwful1204 I completely understand, i think ive gone through more themes than i can count, its a revolving door sometimes. What helps me with employer specific stuff or job specific stuff is “i can always grow from my mistakes at work if i made any” and “i have been fine in the past before employment and i can certainly do fine post employment if needed” wich is also a little bit of a trigger itself. My safety net is “ocd is a liar and i am free to focus on the life i want, not what ocd tells me”

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