Anybody want to talk to me for a bit?

@Maddie463 Thank you, it’s so confusing. My bf even told me this moment is real and it’s me. But I can’t help but feel like a monster

@Anonymous I know, I often get false memory things dealing with my boyfriend. My OCD is based off a fear of cheating, so my OCD will tend to add things in and its causes a lot of anxiety and guilt

@Maddie463 Mines is mixed in with somebody that’s not the same age as me. I feel like a monster and even more like a monster that I continue to be sexual with my bf even though I kept getting those images which now has me worried that I wouldn’t even care if it was real. I know in my therapy session today I will probably be told that it’s part of erp because if I would’ve stopped it would’ve fed into the ocd theme but I feel like a monster that’s gonna be outed as one later on in life

@Anonymous I completely understand. I get a lot of intrusive sexual thoughts and images in my head that make me feel like a terrible person. Showing that you care so much or are worried so much about the situation is a determinant showing that you’re not actually a monster. For example: I get a bunch of images and thoughts about being unfaithful to my boyfriend. I come to him a lot out of compulsion and I’ve had a couple therapists tell me that if I was unfaithful I wouldn’t be heavily worrying about if I am 24/7. I’m not sure if that’s triggering or helping, but I apologize if it is.

@Maddie463 It’s a lot easier said than done, but there is hope

@Maddie463 It does thank you. I have my 2nd therapy session with my therapist today and I wrote all the intrusive thoughts down and she said she’ll read them and we’ll go over the erp for it but I’m more scared that I blacked out and it really happened

@Anonymous That’s great you were able to write them down! That’s a great first step! I understand that the “what if” thoughts can be very exhausting, I’m sorry

@Maddie463 Thank you so much for talking with me, I really do appreciate it. Once I learn that it’s the ocd talking then it’s a step to recovery and that’s what it sounds like honestly so thank you for making me realize it’s ocd and I’m not really a monster

@Anonymous Ofc! OCD will make a person feel crazy. People with OCD have a hard time telling the difference between rational and irrational thoughts which makes the thoughts feel so real.

@Anonymous My previous therapist told me to label these thoughts as OCD and not my mind. Having OCD that affects so much of your mind makes you think that’s it’s from you. I think I often forget that the OCD is not me. The OCD is a disorder

@Maddie463 Thank you thank you like really I needed somebody with ocd to tell me it’s ocd. I’ve been going crazy for 24 hours now

@Anonymous I’m happy I could help! If you have any more questions feel free to ask! I’m not a therapist, I’ve just gone off experience with having OCD and what previous therapists have told me :)