cf05
- Date posted
- Yesterday
Trans OCD+SOOCD
Can anyone with experience in these themes talk? I’m feeling so alone and ready to accept these thoughts as true so the distress can finally end. I just need help.
GraySunApolloGraySunApollo
- Date posted
- Yesterday
When I was in high-school and didn't know or understand anything about OCD I was convinced that questioning my orientation was a sure sign I was faking it. I've done a lot of research on my own and talked to a lot of people about this and it has helped me realize that I'm just as valid about my identity as anyone else. The thoughts that I'm faking it still pop up from time to time but something that helps me the most is getting an outside support to tell me it's okay and that my OCD is just trying to fight me. I'm sorry if this is difficult to read or understand. If you take nothing else from this just try to remember that your thoughts don't define you and everyone's journey is valid. I hope this helps at least a little.
dannybanannydannybananny
- Date posted
- 16h
Yes I actually went back into the closet at one point bc I didn’t believe I was trans. Lo and behold I’ve been out for many years now and much happier. I think I had to let go of the importance of the labels. I just am who I am, and if I take HRT or wear certain clothes or use a certain name it’s ok to change those things because not any single one is core to my identity. They’re all just individual pieces that make me up. Who cares if I’m “not really trans” that doesn’t even really mean anything. It’s just a label we use. I just try not to label myself these days and just do what feels right. Do I like how the HRT is working for me right now? Do I feel negatively towards my current pronouns or do I feel more neutral or positive? It really helped me break free from this fear that I was faking it.
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 16h
@dannybananny Hi there, thank you for sharing your experience. My situation is a bit different, as I still wish to identify as a woman (AFAB), but just fear that the connection and relatability I feel to trans stories is too much to ignore - despite not wanting to change my gender identity. Is it possible for someone that wants identify as cis to experience body dysphoria to an extent that feels like it is all about gender, even if it’s not? It’s like I want to align my brain to what these thoughts are saying for the sake of relief and mental silence, but I don’t actually wish to change anything about myself, my body, my life, or my identity.
dannybanannydannybananny
- Date posted
- 8h
@cf05 I think that’s totally possible. It actually kinda makes sense to me. The thing with gender is it genuinely is completely a social construct. The way we view women as a society and how women act and what they do and everything that “should be”… you know, all of the above lol… are all just norms we have that we feel a need to conform to for a multitude of reasons. Societal pressures that are really just the default, no matter who you are. So no matter what the cause is of your dysphoric thoughts it totally makes sense as to how you can have them and not actually want to transition socially or in any way. Even if that reason in particular doesn’t resonate with you, gender is just weird! Theres plenty of other reasons that could cause you to be cis and still have dysphoria. And any uncertainty you have, OCD can latch onto. So then these feelings you have you might ruminate on and become even more distressing. Its not an easy thing to deal with whatsoever, but it for sure makes sense ❤️
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond