Advice

So me and this guy have been in a situationship for over a year. We had history before this and it was complicated but we have never been official. When we first started working stuff out again, I was really happy and excited and then I kept asking him to commit to me and he said he couldn’t. At one point he tried to end it but the conversation was very mixed signally. During all this confusion, I texted a couple guys here and there and even ended up drunk kissing someone at a party. This was last summer. Today, we still aren’t together, but now I’m wondering if I should confess the kiss? I feel like I’m hiding something or trying to make a decision for him. As things progressed these last 5 months I haven’t even talked to anyone else but again we still aren’t together so idk what the best thing to do is. I’ve been going back and forth and obsessing for months.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10h

I have a similar situation where my partner is back and forth and has he loves me but isn’t sure if he’s in love with me. I am not okay with that. I broke up with but I don’t think he took it seriously as he is still “playing house”. In 2019, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I had only been dating my partner for about 5 months. He was supportive. Loving. Caring. Now 7 years later, I have survived Leukemia. Although I acquired a kind of rejection from a bone marrow transplant called GVHD. It’s left me sick and unable to work since then. In the last 3 years or so, we haven’t done more than give a quick kiss goodbye in the morning. I want more but that’s where he’s at. I’m tired of waiting. If I was to say what I felt I would say don’t tell him. It isn’t his business. I guess if he asks you could always decide then too. I’m sorry. You are not getting the support you need from him. That feeling of love. I seem to always try and figure out how to fix things. A saying I freaking hate is “. It is what it is”. I feel like if I understand it and stick around, things will change but sometimes…it is what it is. I wish the best for you. I ready to feel love again.

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous I’ve been waiting for him to want me for years. I know anytime I’ve talked to other guys it’s because I felt bad and wanted to feel wanted. And I know I chose to stay in this situation so it’s not all on him, however I was losing hope when we were 6 months in and still not official. I know he hadn’t talked to any other girls during this year we started talking again but I also feel like that wouldn’t compare because he is the one unsure about me. Ugh idk. I’ve been obsessing over this for months.

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous Also so sorry about your diagnosis and I hope everything works out for you in this lifetime

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous Like basically I’m saying it’s different if he was the one talking to girls because he’s the one unsure about me so the intentions wouldn’t be the same. However if I was him and I was unsure about someone I wouldn’t expect them to wait for me and not keep their options open

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous I’m just having a hard time because I don’t want to be a liar or have a relationship built on lies if we ever get to that point. I feel like a cheater sometimes

Anonymous

Date posted: 10h

@Diwowodooeeo It doesn’t seem fair. Even though I love my partner and want things to work, I don’t think they ever will. I know there’s someone out there that’s a perfect match for me

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous Yes there definitely is! Just the way you are

Anonymous

Date posted: 10h

@Diwowodooeeo Go out and have some fun. Go on some real dates and see how you feel. I want to feel that excitement again. My partner says the honeymoon period is over. I’m like, screw that. I’m a 30 yr old trapped in a 53 yr old body. lol. Good luck and don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s easy for us to do that.

Diwowodooeeo

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous I feel like we’re in a different place right now thought. Like he said he actually is sure about me and we do everything together like I met his family and have a key to his house and stuff. I just feel like not being together takes away from all that. But I’d feel terrible for keeping my options open because of how much we’ve grown together but idk if I’m idolizing him or the situation

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond